However, for about 3 months now, I have had mixed feelings over this one girl (let’s call her Stacy), who apparently is my boyfriend’s old friend.

In May, she invited my boyfriend to an all-girls party, where they watched drank. I was a little bit confused as to why my boyfriend would be invited to an all-girls party, but since he said that watching some movie is an old tradition between him and Stacy, that’s why he was invited, I just brushed it off.

I still don’t quite understand why that girl didn’t invite me to that party as it would have been a great opportunity to meet each other.

In June we had our exams, so we discussed that we would meet less in order to study, although we agreed to meet on the 3rd and 10th day.

So we met on the 3rd day, but on the 10th day he said that the plans have changed and he cannot meet as he will going to a bar with his friends, so we agreed to meet on the 16th. On 15th day he have gone to another party, so the next day he was too hungover to meet with me.

I was angry not only because he cancelled our plans twice, but also he failed to mention that the party was indeed at Stacy’s.

Now, we haven’t met for about 2 weeks+, since he had gone to Italy with his friends.

I missed him a lot and I was excited to meet him, but he said that he had plans to go on a family trip and didn’t even say that he missed me. Coincidentally, the town where he will be staying is also the same town where Stacy is now also going on a holiday so he will meet with her.

Also, we talked about Stacy a lot lately. He likes to annoy me by talking about her, even though he knows I don’t like it.

He even talked about her on my birthday. Also, when we talked about how he imagines a perfect woman, he mentioned Stacy. I have also given him my hair band to put on his arm, but I find him just not wearing it at all, although the bracelet, that Stacy gave him, is always on his arm and he frequently shows it to me and adores it.

In conclusion, I don’t want to be that jealous controlling girlfriend, but I feel like his relationship with Stacy is getting on my nerves. It seems like I am the second option, as he constantly chooses her over me in various situations. Also, the fact that she has never made any effort to get to know me or invite me to her parties, while his other girlfriends have, confuses me.

If I express my feelings to him, he says that I’m being defensive. So now, I don’t know what to do. and I’m overreacting? Or is he acting disrespectfully?

​I’ve never really gotten along well with my aunt and lately, I’ve made it a point to avoid her at family gatherings.

We celebrated my birthday Friday and I wanted to go to one of those Japanese steakhouses. I didn’t invite my aunt but my grandmother invited her behind my back.

I didn’t know she was coming until she showed up. I was already pissed off that my grandmother invited her (she told me that my aunt is family and I cant just exclude her from everything) but as soon as we sat down, my aunt started ribbing me about that incident when I was five.

I told her to stop bringing it up and my mom told her to stop as well, but when the cook was fixing to light the hibachi, she asked me in this really condescending way “You sure you don’t wanna go hide in the corner for old time’s sake?”

I finally just lost my temper and went off on her right there in front of the whole restaurant. I basically yelled at her “Will you just shut up about that already? That was 25 years ago! Is that literally all you have to talk about? I’m sick of hearing about it! This is why I didn’t invite you!”

I swear the entire restaurant must have been staring at me and I felt like just walking out.

The entire rest of the dinner was awkward and I couldn’t even enjoy my meal. After we left my grandmother told me that I embarrassed her in front of everyone and that my outburst was completely uncalled for and that I owed my aunt an apology.

My parents told me I didn’t owe my aunt anything and were angry at my grandmother for inviting her, but I still feel bad for losing my temper and yelling in front of the restaurant, and the whole thing was deeply embarrassing.

My aunt is blasting me on Facebook for embarrassing them in public.

I wrong?

Last night, for the first time in a while, I decided to go out to a club with some friends. I spent the whole evening getting ready, really feeling myself and listening to music as I did it. I picked out an outfit that I loved. I felt comfortable in my skin; I’ve gained weight since I left my ex, mostly due to the antidepressants I’m on to cope with my mental health issues, but I thought it sat well on me. I couldn’t help but smile. I felt like a woman.

I met up with my friends at a party first. I was so confident, I talked to everyone with ease, laughed and didn’t worry about “getting too drunk and embarrassing myself”, like he always said I did.

Things went sharply downhill when I got to the club. I feel so ashamed for saying this, but it really stung seeing all these girls getting approached and no one even looking at me.

It was like everything my ex said about me was true. I am too chubby. My face is round and childish. I don’t have the light, the magnetism, whatever it is to attract someone. (Yes, these are all things he said to me). There’s nothing special about me, guys notice me a lot but they rarely approach.

I felt lost in the crowd. I thought “at least if I was with him, I’d have someone to dance with,” and like an idiot I missed him. I know he didn’t really love me, but it was a least nice to have someone want me in some way.

When I got home I cried and cried and cried. My ex cost me all of my confidence and I don’t feel like I’ll ever have it back. I feel so dull and plain, and yet at the same time so abnormal. Ugly, is the word. He was incredibly focused on my appearance, to the point he got me addicted to stimulants and actively hid food from me so I’d get skinny.

He never once called me beautiful, stunning, pretty etc. Just hot, and that’s if I was lucky. If I’d pissed him off he’d call me a fat piglet, and he’d make a point of staring at me like there was something wrong with me or my outfit when we went out, kind of sneering at me. And then he’d go flirt with someone else, someone who never looked anything like me. Blonde, tall, skinny, tanned.

How did you guys deal with self-esteem issues? I’m at a total loss. And yes, I will be talking to my therapist about this, I’d just like to hear some accounts from people who’ve been there 🙂

I got a call from her mom saying she wanted to attend and host the party – I said no. We argued but thought that would be the end of it. I was wrong. Now my kids (almost 16/18/20) are angry and think I’m a bad dad.

Back story: EX has a drug addiction and was unfaithful

Addiction and ongoing affair surfaced about 51/2 years ago (Married 17 years at this point). I tried to make things work. Drugs and cheating continued.

I moved out 6 months later. Ex then gets arrested on drug charges, so I move back into the house to be with the kids full time. Hopeful she’ll turn it around, she comes back to our house after rehab

Heavy Drugs and betrayals continued. Got so bad I had her removed from the house by police as she’d refused to get help. She did more rehab and sober living houses. Had another arrest, all very toxic.

I’m pay for all this voluntarily- Heart broken but care for her – she’s the mother of my children and want her to be ok. I spend 1 1/2 years with full custody of the kids.

She’d visit once in awhile, but not even an overnight to her apartment. After a couple more years, she’s kicked the hard drugs. I get her 4 bedroom house as her goal was to reconnect with the kids. Once the kids felt comfortable spending time there, I pushed on our divorce. (filed 2 years prior, but she was so unstable I felt that would push her over the edge and she’d OD and die, so I put my needs second) She responds and tried to get full custody.

I haven’t shared all these details with the kids. They know of the drug use, but not the details.

Ex openly blames me for the divorce. Says things like never tried to make it work, She didn’t want it and its my fault. Also Blames my GF saying she’s the reason we can’t do things together as a family. (GF and I just celebrated 2 years together. Story for another time, but ex attitude towards gf has a negative impact on kids attitude towards her – Any advice?)

I’m now having heated arguments with all the kids about the party.

They think I’m a bad father for not allowing her here. They say the party is about Cindy, not me and I need to deal with it and let their mom come host.

I am not comfortable having her in the house. I don’t want her hosting the party, cooking food in the kitchen and acting like it’s all ok.

I’ve explained to the kids I’m not comfortable and it’s a boundary I need. I’ve also told them my concern it will turn into a fight between me and ex, and upstage the bday girl.

Anyways I’ve made near 300 dollars now and I’m very proud and I’m gonna save up. A few days ago my step dad found out how much money I earned and he’s a very joking around person so he said “are you going to share with us?” To which I said no.

Now a few hours ago I came downstairs and my step dad had told me that my response to his joke caught him off guard because her expected me to say yes.

I was confused so I told him that I was really just only wanting to use the money on myself so I won’t feel bad for buying things he then called me selfish because I wouldn’t like to share at least 20/30 dollars with my mom and I was confused because why would she need that from me?

I said I would give her a minimum of 5 dollars because I never expected to have to share with my mom. He said that we work as a team in the house and that he would like it if I shared it.

He went on a rant about how they work so hard and on top of that they had to pick me up from work (he sounded like I was the reason for all their problems which made me upset) We honestly are not poor we live in a nice house have 3 pets and we haven’t struggled with money for a while.

He seemed disappointed I wouldn’t want to share money (I honestly thought he was gonna cry at one point) so I felt bad for saying I didn’t wanna share money so am I wrong?