My dog jerks off under my bed

Im dead ass not joking around. A lot of times when im in my room sometimes and I smell something weird(kinda salty and like dried fluids).

And literally less than 5 minutes ago from writing this. I hear him doing something and I look under my bed and see him next to a small about of liquid.

I call him out and he still has his genitals hard. My other dog died about 2 weeks ago. They are both gay. So I am convinced that my dog is jacking off because the dog he would please himself with is gone

Ik dogs have needs. But he has a dog bed in the living room. And my parents room. Like damn bro. Ik you are so untrained that you barely know your name (he only knows the words treat, his name, and my SM’s name). But like damn you cant use your BEDS to use your red rocket

Netizens’ comments

• This was wild from start to finish wtf did I just read
• I wish I was illiterate.
• Dog glanced over and whispered at you: “Go ahead and tell them, they will never believe you”
• It’s too early in the morning for this my guy, take my eyeballs away from me please
• My elephant does this too, pisses me off

I currently have a Buzz Lightyear action figure stuck in my butt.

I am male if it matters. I’ve always been into putting things in my butt I don’t know why, I’m not homo or anything I just like how it feels.

Well I got drunk last night and decided to play and I hadn’t gone shopping so I was out of carrots and cucumbers so I looked around and I saw my Buzz Lightyear action figure and thought “why not?”

I’ve put action figures up there before because they feel different and it’s funny.

I grabbed Buzz, lubed him up and started sliding him in. “To infinity and beyond!” I moaned as Buzz entered me.

The only problem is that he has those wings that expand and so they popped open nearly splitting me in half and now he’s stuck in there and I can’t get him out.

I know I need to go to the hospital but honestly I’m scared and ashamed. I’ve managed to hide it from my wife so far but I think she’s getting suspicious and can tell something is wrong.

I’m going to try to sneak to the ER later and hopefully get it taken care of without her finding out.

Hi wife, I am sorry for making poor financial decisions but…

Last year I met a couple who are both car fanatics like me. They both own and drive cars that I love, I was so jealous of that man. You are the love of my life but I can’t help myself but to fantasize about having a wife who understands and share a common interest with me. I felt so guilty for fantasizing about such a thing but I know I can at least get myself a car that I like, so I impulsively pulled the trigger and got that car.

I bought the used Civic because it was something that could make me happy. I was hesitant at first but I thought that it could be a win-win scenario since you get more opportunities to use the main car now that I have my own.

Sorry if it is not as comfortable as the Qashqai, I promise you that we can use back our old car when we go out together.

Here are what netizens think:

• Next time ask her first before buying behind her back.First time she say no, then you slowly introduce her to your hobbies. Bring her along lah… Make her enjoy it.Most wife will understand and support your hobbies as long as you are upfront about it and does not affect your other finances..2nd .. why you typing here. Go talk to her lah Sia

• Walaueh….You two have very serious marriage problem…If gotta publish your discussions in public. Maybe wanna publish your live piak piak show too, after patch up, so audience know is happy ending ?

• Bro you the man. Hope you can sleep on your bed next to her after your confession. Vtec is the best

• You know bedtime can do a lot of things , there can be restricted ones , happy ones , embarrassing one , next time just say out to your partner next to you before you go to sleep, you can save efforts posting here and no need to wait few days getting adequate responses from your spouse .

My bf is clearly not over his ex – what should I do.

I have been together with my bf for almost 2 years now and I don’t know if he truly loves me or just being together with me because I’m submissive and always puts him first.

At the start of the rs when I went to his house when he was still staying alone, I realized that there’s a family photo with his first love in it on his computer table. I kept quiet till few weeks into the rs when he suddenly compared me to his first ex infront his friends when we were drinking. That’s when I voiced out how uncomfortable I was with the picture at his house and with being compared. He removed it.

He follows her and her sis on Instagram, and likes almost every photo of hers. I told him I was uncomfortable with it but he carried on with it. Fast forward to last year, I realized that the both of them still wish each other happy new year and birthday. I confronted him on it.

We had a big argument and he almost broke up with me because I asked him to unfollow and not reply his ex. He told me “I cannot don’t reply someone when I’m in good terms with them but I can don’t text her happy birthday”. In the end we compromised with not having him unfollow her but just not like her photos, and if she texted him, he could let me know.

He did what he promised but I still found him liking her sister’s photos with his ex in it. What should I do?

Here are what netizens think:

• Move on girl. Life is short. Why make yourself miserable? When you reaches your mid 30s you will start to qn urself why you so stupid, dun give other guys a chance. Dun miss all the wonders waiting for you in the forest for a button mushroom.

• This is a toxic relationship. Your bf don’t respect you. Be brave enough to leave someone who don’t loves you wholeheartedly. Please love yourself, find a new hobby and start to spend more time with yourself.Relationship is not all, there’s other things you can achieve in life. Live your life to the fullest and do whatever you wanted to do. Go to a new cafe, go to attend classes or whatever it is.Please. Love. Yourself.

• How can you expect a man to value you when you do not even value yourself?If a man does that to me. I will not even have second thoughts. I will drop him cause I know I have options. Have some self love darling..You really need it.I always tell this to people..Always put yourself first and your man second. You know why?Self love is more important and it is prerequisite to self respect. If after all the things you have discovered, you still stayed, it means you do not love yourself enough. That is why he does not value you cause you just follow him.I am a dominant person so I gave this advice. Why? You are an individual, not a dog to follow a man.  Being too submissive means you have no individuality and your world revolves around him..That is not good. To have the time to check what he is liking is already low girl. Work on your goals and dreams.

• It seems like he chose himself over you. You are obviously insecure. You told him about it and he didn’t do much to make you feel better. The big question is why despite it being the bane issue in the current relationship, he still thinks it’s important to keep the friendship with the ex.You can’t change him. You can only change yourself. Either you change your mindset or change bf.