Anyone miss your NUS student days cos you had a much more active s– life back then?

I really do. Back then, I hooked up with 3 different girls in the same orientation camp and joined overseas community service trips with f buddies, even getting to experience the thrill of doing it in public places and risking getting caught.

But ever since I grad and started work, things took a turn. Sometimes I just feel so tired and jaded from work and other life issues.  I guess I lost the spark and enthusiasm I once had when picking up girls, and I come across as boring and worn out. Or it could be that the carefree school environment makes it easier for such casual flings to happen. I’m not sure. All I know is that girls are way less responsive to me than before.

I went from being able to hook up with a different young hot chick every month to going for half a year without scoring except for a rather old lady I met at a club who didn’t excite me half as much. It makes me feel depressed and miserable. I really for the good old days when I got so much action that it feels almost unreal.

What should I do? Do I work very hard and try to get really rich, to be able to live the same life again? Or should I go back to school as a freshman once more? I really enjoy hooking up with many girls, and I’d do anything to have that again.

Don’t give in easily ok. Stay true to yourself. I’m speaking from personal experience. I once had this bf who made me believe that I loved him very much and that he was the one for me. I never noticed the red flags when he avoided planning for the future with me all the time.

But I gave him my virginity anyway. He kept begging and i couldn’t say no anymore. After the deal, he became another person. He ignored my texts frequently, only making me happy when he wants S. When we finally broke up, I was so traumatised and upset, I couldn’t open up to anyone.

I felt like a cheap chicken and the most sinful person on earth.

I really let down my parents and myself. To me, it wasn’t just losing my virginity. I felt like I lost my values, beliefs and trust. So please, if you’re not ready don’t go for it.

I spent almost 1.5 years trying to walk out of that hole my ex threw me in. Don’t follow my footsteps…

Here are what netizens think:

Aiya don’t blame guy or girl la, both gender also got their own set of problems.

I encounter this kind of thing before but its a girl she behaves all sweet to me, just because she wants it. But end of the day she picked a rich guy. and uses me.

A man was turned off after a potential gf candidate told him that she is looking for a rich that can supplement her lavish lifestyle of going for facial treatments of over S$10,000 and buying her branded goods.

Here is the man’s epic response to the gold diggers out there:

A potential gf told me something that made me so turn off I wanted to vomit.

The girl said: “All these are costly. I have to consider looking for a man with a lot of money to make up for it. Otherwise, I can’t afford to support myself, and the speed of spending money is faster than making money.”

she said, “these” referring to cosmetics, facials and branded items.

My reply: Good luck finding a guy like that, here is a picture of the birthday present I’m getting for you next year.

I then told off the girl saying,

if I want find a girl that is like that I rather go for social escorts or chickens because every day can change “flavour”. Today find short hair tomorrow find long hair next day find ang gong siao.

Much more economic, just like buying economic rice, can pick so many different dishes and at a cheaper price. Without going through all the garbage dates at restaurants that cost so much more.

Nowadays, I know why so many guys marry a foreign woman. Most of them only have a simple request such as not living in poverty.

I’m not saying I’m poor nor I cant afford, I’m simply so turn off that this is the mentality that gold diggers have.

Starting from the beginning:

I began working at my current place of employment nearly 3 years ago. When I first started, I had only worked with my boss for about a week. She then left on maternity leave for a few months. She was having her 2nd child with her boyfriend (with whom she has been with for 8 years, lives with, already has another child with, and he has 3 of his own from a previous relationship).

When I first started working there, I got the impression she did care for me. Though I’m sure her being close to her due date was probably the most forefront thing on her mind.

3 months went by and she returned to work. We worked closely together from that point on. Each day, we started getting more and more friendly with each other. We were getting along great, having fun at work, and seemingly having a great friendship.

We would even play video games online together with each other, her boyfriend, and some other co workers as a group. Although she and I were always competing with specifically each other.

I felt like I had a practically new best friend. We would text about various things after work and on weekends. Share funny videos we saw, say something that just happened to us, etc. Though I always made sure to never push the boundary. While I may have found her attractive, she was a mom of 2, (plus 3 “bonus”), in a relationship, and about 8 years older than me. I never actually considered any sort of action I wanted to take.

As the months went by, we found ourselves at a colleauges wedding reception. By some turn of events, we wound up alone together. It was at this point that she told me how she thinks of me often, and while she and her boyfriend didn’t have a “S” life at home, she often thought about me for her own pleasure.

We did it that night.

Shortly after, we decided to start a physical only “relationship” where we would flirt, touch, and do whatever else we could do during work hours, secretly of course.

We did it several more times. Keep in mind, that I am barely 21 during this beginning phase, she is in her early 30’s.

Nearly 2 years have gone by since the start. We have “ended” things just to have them start again several times after.

What was once physical has turned highly emotional. We are always jealous of when the other is with someone else (ie me on an actual date, her getting drunk and messaging me the “acts” she just performed on her boyfriend).

Every night I have guilt. We still work together. I feel like I’m attached to this woman. I don’t have feelings per se, but I feel that we are connected and these emotions will never break. I know what I did was wrong. I know I was used because i m a much younger single male.

I feel bad for what I’ve been doing. And yet my mind won’t let me out of this hole I’ve put myself in.