Starting from the beginning:

I began working at my current place of employment nearly 3 years ago. When I first started, I had only worked with my boss for about a week. She then left on maternity leave for a few months. She was having her 2nd child with her boyfriend (with whom she has been with for 8 years, lives with, already has another child with, and he has 3 of his own from a previous relationship).

When I first started working there, I got the impression she did care for me. Though I’m sure her being close to her due date was probably the most forefront thing on her mind.

3 months went by and she returned to work. We worked closely together from that point on. Each day, we started getting more and more friendly with each other. We were getting along great, having fun at work, and seemingly having a great friendship.

We would even play video games online together with each other, her boyfriend, and some other co workers as a group. Although she and I were always competing with specifically each other.

I felt like I had a practically new best friend. We would text about various things after work and on weekends. Share funny videos we saw, say something that just happened to us, etc. Though I always made sure to never push the boundary. While I may have found her attractive, she was a mom of 2, (plus 3 “bonus”), in a relationship, and about 8 years older than me. I never actually considered any sort of action I wanted to take.

As the months went by, we found ourselves at a colleauges wedding reception. By some turn of events, we wound up alone together. It was at this point that she told me how she thinks of me often, and while she and her boyfriend didn’t have a “S” life at home, she often thought about me for her own pleasure.

We did it that night.

Shortly after, we decided to start a physical only “relationship” where we would flirt, touch, and do whatever else we could do during work hours, secretly of course.

We did it several more times. Keep in mind, that I am barely 21 during this beginning phase, she is in her early 30’s.

Nearly 2 years have gone by since the start. We have “ended” things just to have them start again several times after.

What was once physical has turned highly emotional. We are always jealous of when the other is with someone else (ie me on an actual date, her getting drunk and messaging me the “acts” she just performed on her boyfriend).

Every night I have guilt. We still work together. I feel like I’m attached to this woman. I don’t have feelings per se, but I feel that we are connected and these emotions will never break. I know what I did was wrong. I know I was used because i m a much younger single male.

I feel bad for what I’ve been doing. And yet my mind won’t let me out of this hole I’ve put myself in.

My partner and I have been having an on-and-off argument for the past several days. For context, I have a feel weird preference in life (i suffer from some mental issues) that really mess with my senses.

Seeing some stuff really annoys me such as bras.

So I try to avoid them whenever possible. This means that, while my gf is awake I tend to not look at her if she is going out cause obviously, she will be wearing one.

Typically, when she’s about to go to sleep she’ll let me know and she will ask me to turn away as she is removing the bra.

However, for these last few days I’ve been having some pretty extreme sensory aversion I could see it through her shirt and it annoys the hell out of me. Every time I get annoyed, She gets upset with me and asks why I won’t just look away. I tell her bluntly said, “I won’t know unless I look, in another word I can’t even look around in my own house?”

I assume my wording is really off because she starts panicking and telling me I’m giving her an ultimatum that she should not be wearing a bra in the house and she should put on her bra in the living room before leaving the house.

Here are what netizens think:

• knn people like you also got gf then don’t kpkb you probably can’t find another one.

• You can consider guys

• Or you can find a doll, you should break up with her and set her free.
  
• You seriously need to see a doctor, this is the first time I read about someone as seriously bad as you.

A little background. Kinda long sorry.

I kicked my husband out a few months ago due to him preferring alcohol and his family (cousins). He also stressed us out, constantly giving us orders and constantly asking why the house was never clean, instead of saying hello kid’s I missed you, how was your day?.

I suffer from anxiety, major depressive disorder, cptsd and fibromyalgia plus other chronic health-related issues. My 3 kids range in age 12-4. They also have health issues (we won that health lottery right?)

So the thing is, all week I have been feeling very ill and depressed, to the point where I stopped caring about anything. Today I had a bit of energy and cooked some lunch for the kid’s but, in doing so, my carpal tunnel decided to act upon both hands (I was supposed to have surgery years ago but had a newborn and it would have been a minimum of 6 months recovery) to the point I couldn’t even pick up a fork.

My ex-husband called to see if he could still visit the kid’s since it is a good weather. He is not allowed in my house due to his constant berating and criticism. He is not on the lease anymore either. I asked him what he would be doing since I know how he is. He said he would be upstairs with my daughter (he cares more about her, forgetting about the boys) cleaning her room, just like the day before. I told him her room was clean and he didn’t really have a reason to be upstairs (he likes to go snooping through my drawers and bedroom just to start a fight).

I proceeded to ask him if he could help me wash some dishes since my hands were in pain, my 12 yr old (autistic) can’t wash the dishes due to having problems in his finger’s. He snarkily said no, that since I had decided to kick him out, he had no obligation to help me and to figure it out on my own. I proceeded to extricate myself from the call and gave it to my son. I hate asking for help and he knew that. He knows that I only ask for help when extremely needed.

So my son, still on the phone asks me if his dad was allowed to visit. I said no. Mind you I was already crying from his response and still trying to shake off my depression.

I feel like an ass because I decided to save myself some mental/physical anguish that his visit would cost me over my kid’s seeing their father.

My kid’s say it was okay because they know how he is and have seen me try to hold it in. But still, I don’t think it’s fair to them. I forgot to add, he see’s them almost daily, 2 hour’s or less, outside of my house with the excuse he can’t have them at his house, because my daughter once accidentally made her baby cousin cry. He lives with his cousins.

I’m honestly not even sure how to put this. I’m fairly certain I’m not the AH, but people are acting otherwise.

Background: I (39F) work in an office. I have worked for this particular company for going on 6 years. I have never been told the way I dress is a problem from either the owner or the vice president (the only people I am directly under).

I have dressed the same way since I started. Today I am wearing gray jeggings, a light blue tank with pink/grey skulls & butterflies on it, a pink blazer, and black heels (about 4”). I also have light blue hair. This is typical of how I dress at work.

The issue: Until recently I was the only woman who worked here. Typical of the industry. Recently though we hired 2 women to help out as the company is growing. One is in her early 20’s (we’ll call her Katie), the other in her mid 50’s (we’ll call her Angie). I am both of their boss, but it’s a very relaxed company and so I treat them more like colleagues than someone I am a superior too.

Today Katie commented on my heels. She said they are cute and asked where I got them. I told her. Angie then pipped in that they are a bit inappropriate for an office (they are black, open-toed, 4” heels). I asked her what she meant. To which she replied they are little slutty to be worn anywhere other than a club. She followed it up with “but you usually dress a little inappropriate for an office. I guess that’s the benefit of a relaxed company”

I told her I didn’t think there was anything at all slutty about the way I dress. And went to my desk to start work.

Later on, I overheard Angie telling Katie to take note, and not to dress like me if she ever wants to have a long-standing career and actually be valued. That the only reason I have worked here so long is that my boobs are always on display and the men enjoy staring.

I will admit I have large boobs, but I NEVER have cleavage, even if a lot of my tops are more form-fitting. I also worked very hard to be where I am in the industry I work in, and feel blessed to have found a company which allows me to dress like me (I do like showing off my body, I’m a little vain and spend a lot of time in the gym working on it).

I have never once questioned the way I dress at this company. But after overhearing what Angie said, I’m wondering if I should be dressing more conservatively.

I had a closed door meeting with my VP about Angie. I explained what has transpired today, and how shocked I am. I let him know most of my concern was for Katie, as Angie seems to be trying to manipulate her in some way (e.g. undermine me as a superior, instill self doubt in her about her appearance). He said if it was entirely up to him, he would fire her.

We have a zero tolerance harassment policy for a reason, and this absolutely constitutes harassment. For now Angie is on probation. She is to have zero contact with the guys in the shop (some of them are a little rough, but good guys. We don’t want her opinions rubbing off on them). Any further comments about coworkers’ appearance will result in termination. She’s irate, to say the least. I won’t be surprised if she quits.

I am also having lunch with Katie tomorrow (Angie’s regular day off). I’m going to try and feel out what all has been said to her. And let her know her appearance has no bearing on her merit in this industry. And that while she may need to be more conservative than myself at other companies, here we are more relaxed with the dress code and she should feel free to be herself.

My wife and I started saving for our kids early but we didn’t anticipate university overseas was going to get so expensive.

By the time our kids were going to university we had 106k saved. My son was going to university first but we told both our kids that they would get 53k each and they could go to university with that money or they could withdraw it after 21 but that was all the money they had and we weren’t contributing more.

It would cover almost all the tuition at the university but if they wanted to go to a more expensive school that was on them and they had to cover it. My daughter went to a private university and lived at home. She finished with a degree in business with almost no debt.

Our son decided to go to a more expensive school overseas and paid the rent with the tuition there being over $27k a year. We tried to talk him out of it but he wouldn’t listen and we gave up and told him he would have to pay his own path.

So after 2 years, he had used up his money and even worse he wanted to switch majors which meant another year in school. He asked us for money but we told him he had gotten all his money out of his education fund and he was angry and didn’t want to take out loans so he started working.

We told him he could move back during the pandemic to save money but he lost his job and picked up another one relatively quickly but it didn’t pay as much and he started buying so much stuff off Amazon I’m sure he wasn’t saving anything. He recently got a better job but it still doesn’t pay what he needs to go back to university and he started spending it on video games and clothing. 4 years later he still hadn’t saved any money and his sister is now making six figures and it’s making him feel bad.

He started smoking and not working, playing video games all day and I think the company caught on and laid him off. Whatever he is doing is not enough to save for university and asked us again for money for university.

We told him again all the money we were contributing was in the education fund and he chose to go to an expensive school. He complained he didn’t understand what that meant at 18 and it was our fault for letting him. We didn’t let him we tried to talk him down but he wouldn’t listen and I couldn’t force him to go to the cheaper school. I told him he should just take out loans to study at the cheaper school but he says I should be paying for his school and isn’t budging.

We had a lot of fights with him and us over this tuition thing and he thinks we have treated him unfairly by not giving him more money. He also stays up late partying and comes home at midnight and refuses to do chores.

We didn’t have any choice but he give him 3 months notice to move back to SG and he moved out last week to be with friends.

He yelled at me when we weren’t ever going to his wedding or seeing his kids and my wife wants to just pay for his schooling so he doesn’t end up a loser.