To local women, I’d really like to know how in today’s culture, women are disadvantaged in SG? Cause to me, it seems that being a girl is more advantageous in SG than being a guy. Let’s list a few examples ya.

NS – the BIG one. For all the talk about gender equality by feminists, this is an area that most local women would be happy not being equal in. Meanwhile, guys have to sacrifice 2 years of their prime and the opportunity cost is immense with regards to potential income earned, career progression, relationships, etc. I completely disagree with what Ng Eng Hen said recently in Parliament about compulsory enlistment for women.

Dating – Once again, women talk about equal rights but a lot of them (I didn’t say ‘all’) would happily let the guy pay for all their dates (even if they are earning a similar amount or higher), plan everything for vday and anniversary, be the one to propose, etc while not putting in as much effort. I mean think abt it, if not for the women who want a picture perfect vday celebration of a rose bouquet and candle-lit dinner, most men wouldn’t even care to rmb 14 Feb.

Counter argument to this is that perhaps women need to put in more effort after marriage, especially when children come into the picture. But even then, it’s no denying that women aren’t exactly helping themselves because a lot of local women still adhere to traditional views of gender.

Workplace – the gender pay gap is bull pls.. Justifiably, if you’re the same level as a male colleague doing the same job but getting paid a bit lesser, pls note my 1st point abt local guys having to sacrifice 2 years of their life to NS, whether willingly or otherwise…

And for those who say that not enough females are represented in STEM jobs, erm… maybe do consider that perhaps in the 1st place not as many women are entering these fields compared to men?

A trend I notice at the workplace is how for the sake of diversity, a woman is selected for a managerial position even though there is a more qualified man for the role. I won’t have an issue with this if both the man and woman are similarly qualified, but if the man happens to be more qualified, shouldn’t merit/expertise for the job take priority compared to trying to score diversity points in your annual report?

You may call me bitter (and yes I do admit partly that I’m bitter abt this) but at the end of the day, some of the stuff I say do have grains of truth in them. Some of you may like to bring up how the majority of sexual assault and domestic violence cases are women, but I’d argue that these are not exactly things happening at a systematic level compared to the stuff I’ve mentioned.

I succeeded in chasing a girl way out of my league and now getting cold feet. Should I tell her honestly and pull out?

I’m with this girl for a few months, let’s call her J. I was initially very attracted to J’s good looks and well grooming. I’d say her looks are among the top 10-15% of all the girls I met. Despite being an average guy, I planned and chased her and won her heart after some time. However, as we spent more time and knowing each other better, I realized there is indeed a huge gap in lifestyle and abilities between J and me

– J lives in a big semi d landed house while my family lives in a old 4 room flat. Her dad owns several successful businesses while my parents are average income workers

– Her social skills are top notch and she can talk to ppl and make friends easily across age groups and nationalities. I don’t make friends easily as I don’t reveal myself too much to strangers. I also have problem’s especially dealing with ppl with power and knowledge like bosses or professors.

– she is an active sports person and her body is very fit. I’m slightly chubby, although tall. I don’t have a toned body and often struggle to pass my IPPT.

– she is fluent in English, Chinese and german, almost to the native level. I speak singlish most of the time and can’t even write standard English or Chinese well.

– Her CAP is 4.6x while I am 3.1x.

There are many other things too. I have asked J what attracted her to me and she said it was my integrity, sincerity and kindness. But I know that integrity and kindness alone can’t sustain a relationship. My confidence drops a little every time I went out with J and know more about her. We are still in the honeymoon phase but she may start comparing me with other guys once the honeymoon fades. I have heard many examples that it just won’t work out if the guy and girl are too different. Even if she can accept me, her family would disapprove such a guy due to the big diff in SES. I’m thinking to take some pain now and just break off instead of prolonging smth that prob won’t end well.

–

Honestly, I made a pact with myself to no longer date women who don’t work out on a regular basis (and a ‘regular basis’ for me is about 3-4 times a week for at least an hour).

It has to be a part of her routine, like she doesn’t feel right when she doesn’t go to the gym or workout at home; it has to be a part of her lifestyle.

Not necessarily 0% body fat as I’m not into super tight muscular women, but she has to look good and shapely, with or without clothing.

She also needs to eat at least moderately healthy, and not a heavy drinker/non-smoker .

So many women out here refuse to take care of themselves and expect men to just accept and deal with it especially because of this whole body positivity movement, and I’m not with it.

Even if it means only dating 1 girl a year, quality over quantity.

Netizens’ comments

• Yada yada yada.. question is such woman wants you or not? What do u have to offer? Still emphasise look good without clothing, you can last that long meh? 

• You do not have the right to tell us, women, what to do with our bodies unless you are a dietician. 

• U obviously dun train too cos if U did U would know nobody has 0% body fat.

Editor’s note: Eh you armpit lah, not Brad Pitt.

haha i really hate how my mind becomes completely illogical when it comes to my crush.

basically he can just ask a simple question e.g how much do my braces cost?

immediately my mind will link to why does he want to know my braces cost, the price of putting braces is just a usual range of 3-8k depending on private or public a simple google search will do. then i will proceed to the conclusion that he is finding an excuse to text me.

if a normal platonic friend were to ask the same question, my mind does not go through this thought process. i will just dismiss that person as lazy, so lazy he cannot do a simple search.

a small remaining logical part of my brain knows the truth: my crush is lazy and wants a quick answer from me and he is not trying find a reason to talk to me.

ah.. having a crush is a magical feeling that is slowly leading me to death.

Netizens’ comments

He want to know if he kiss you and your braces break, how much he will have to pay and whether kissing you is worth the risk