My [26M] fiancée [25F] doesn’t want to contribute financially anymore after our engagement
We’ve met in college 7 years ago. When we first started going out to dates she would reject my attempt to pay the bills in full and insist we should split or each pays for what he ordered. I wasn’t expecting that because in Morocco it’s usually the guys who pay for the dates but since she insisted I said okay.

She would do it for regular dates (restaurant, coffeeshop, parks…) and also when we started going out for vacations. For example if she didn’t have money with her and I paid for something no matter how cheap it is she would give that amount when we next met.

Last summer we were on a vacation and in the last day of the vacation I had to cancel the flights because of an expected family business in the city we were visiting. We stayed for 3 more days and I’ve paid for both our hotel rooms and new plane tickets. Next time we met she gives me the money for the plane ticket and her hotel room but I refused to take them since it was because of me that we had to stay for more days than planned. But still she didn’t accept my refusal and I insisted that I take the money.

Even when talking about scenarios in the future she would still split the costs. When we were in a retail store and we saw a refrigerator, washing machine, dishwasher pack and we agreed that it was a good deal she says “And it’s only cost 13000 each!!!” (the total price was 26000). Also, when talking about our future kids and discussing names and how are we going to raise them, when we started talking about schools she says “I know a school close to work. I’ve heard it’s good and it’s only 2000 per month so it’s 1000 each, and that includes the bus and lunch fees”

We got engaged last December and have the wedding in the summer. In the last two months we’ve started shopping for furniture and appliances for the apartment and I’ve noticed that she expects me to pay a much higher percentage than her in pretty much everything. She even refuses to pay anything for the TV because she doesn’t watch it.

Whenever I try to bring the subject up she ignores me or get defensive/dismissive whether by pretending she is tired, changing the subject, busy by work or trying to sweet talk me. We’ve had some pretty heated argument over the years but we could always sit and talk face-to-face and try to tackle the problems as a team, something that she can’t do when I bring this subject.

It’s not like she is struggling financially. She has a well paying job and she doesn’t provide for her parents (nor do they need her too) and she still buys very expressive stuff. Paying her share wouldn’t even affect her financially or downgrade her lifestyle.

I don’t have any problem to be the sole financial provider in our relationship but this sudden 180 degree change is something that I can’t understand especially coming from someone with her principles.

I’ve told my best friend about this and he says that I should cancel the wedding and run as far as possible from her because if she changed this much after the engagement who can say how much she’ll change after the wedding.

I don’t what to do or how to approach this any differently than what I tried by talking to her and at this point I don’t even know if I am with the same person I’ve been with all this time.

I (26F) don’t know what to do anymore about my husband (33M)

We have been married for a year and I feel this insane guilt about wanting to leave. A lot has changed since getting married, but I felt cold feet beforehand I just was told it was normal.

Ever since getting married he’s gotten more controlling, jealous, stopped being intimate and started talking to cam girls, and has been pressuring me for a family.

I’m never alone anymore. He works from home when I do and times me on my office days. When I work from home he times me too and clocks when I work, which had given me insane anxiety around work and home and now I can’t really eat on my work from home days anymore.

He’s been more rough when we get intimate, I tell him I don’t like some things he does but he continues anyways. Or last time when I yelled out in pain and looked angry at him he just said “just trying something new.” Now I don’t even want to sleep with him anymore because I’m afraid he’ll hurt me, but he doesn’t care. He would rather talk to cam girls anyways or watch adult videos.

I’ve gently tried bringing up the lack of intimacy to him, but he always turns it on me. Like that I don’t try to look pretty for him so why would he think of me that way, but then when I used to dress up I would always get rejected. Or that he hates condoms and just wants a kid and is done using them.

Anytime I hang out with friends or leave the house he makes “jokes” about how I’m cheating on him. And this had also now made me not want to leave the house.

There was also another concerning joke where he pretended to choke me and it scared me a bit because he’s much bigger than me.

It obviously didn’t start this way and he had anger issues and addiction problems before getting married but it was never this bad.

The problem isn’t constant and he’s not a bad person, I love him and we are fine for the most part. I just don’t know if I can live this way anymore. Even when things are good I don’t feel I can enjoy them anymore.

He’s worked on his anger and has gotten better, but hasn’t gone to therapy since the verbal abuse incident 6 months ago and that was part of the only reason I agreed to stay.

I have these intense feelings of wanting to leave or runaway, but maybe I need to try and work this out in marriage counseling. I am not sure where to go from here, but I can’t picture feeling this way the rest of my life. Also I can’t bring a kid into this. I just can’t.

Also bought a house last year so I feel like I’m just blowing up our life after it got started and ruining his for no good reason. Side note – we have been together for 5 years. He tells me if I don’t have his kid and we divorced he will never have one.

Does this ever get better? Is therapy the answer? Am I mentally ill for wanting to blow up my life? I feel like I’m crazy.

Everything seems fine to others on the outside so also if I left no one besides my best friend would understand.

27M here. I am thinking seriously to get a partner and get married via a paid dating agency, whether govt or private. My life goal is to get married and form a family by 30/31.

However, throughout my life, I have no chances with girls. I have confessed to 5 girls and have all been rejected. Tbh I am not the typical tall, fit and handsome guy that you see on kdrama. On the contrary, I have an obviously pot belly though I am of healthy bmi and I suffer from acne with obvious scars on my face. I believe many girls will be put off by these alone.

I also can’t speak and express myself well verbally. The only saving grace is that I earn above the average of my peers and I can provide for a family if I have one. I really want to form a family and have kids when I am still young and energetic and have time to enjoy family life before my energy levels drop by late 30s/40s and I get too bogged down by my career as well. I am tempted by those success stories put out by those dating agencies that promises a high chance of getting a match.

If all else fails, I am not ruling out marrying a foreign bride too even if we do not share any common language.

Here are what netizens think:

• To be honest, even dating agencies doesnt 100% certain can find you a life partner. Best is to go out there n be involved in social activities n make new friends, dating apps can but u know the risks. Gd luck

• Be confident my man! Those scars and belly are just physical attributes which can be overcome by true love.

• if u not handsome and muscle fit, u need lots of money. No money no honey. Even a Bui bui with millions can get all the celebrities.