I have a severely autistic brother. Growing up, my parents devoted all their time, attention and money to my brother’s care. They even warned me that they will not have any inheritance for me because all their money may go into caring for my brother. That’s fine, I can be my own self made man. Recently they hinted very strongly that I will need to care for brother after they are gone. That’s when I lost it.

1. I have my own goals and dreams.

2. I never asked for the burden that is my brother. Both financial and emotional burden.

3. Do not make my bro (parent’s problem), my wife’s and my problem.

Told my parents no way in hell that’s gonna happen and they better make provisions for him after their death. It is fine if they leave me nothing, but do not leave me with a huge burden that can potentially outlive me. They chose to have my brother and they should be 100% responsible for him. Suddenly I am the bad guy in the family, cos I have my own wife + house and I refuse to take care of bro?

Even the wife thinks I am very harsh, but she kept quiet when I asked if she is willing to sacrifice needed for an autistic adult.

Updates:

I am the person that posted about how my autistic brother is a burden. So many comments calling cold-hearted and all. Heck la. That’s the point of this anonymous site right? Allow me to give some context, on what it takes to live with someone like my bro

When we were teens, I brought him to the hawker center to buy food. We were in the queue and there was a young girl wearing FBT in front of us. My bro, maybe going thru puberty feeling horny, just smacked that girl’s behind. She turned around and accused me, I was just using my phone and trying to understand what was going on. But no…… it’s always the sane one that does the crime. I got arrested, locked up for a few hours, and was only released when witnesses confirmed that it was my bro. Did my bro suffer any consequences for his actions? No…. coz he’s autistic, but I was unfairly incarcerated and a girl got molested for nothing. My future could have been ruined coz of him.

Another time in JC, I brought him to a department store to buy something. He had some anger fit and started throwing items in the store. Who paid for all the freaking damages? Me. Did my parents reimburse me? Hell no. 3/4 months of part-time work savings were all gone because he couldn’t control himself. I was so done at this point, I just paid for the damages, left him sitting on the floor, and went home. Parents had to go get him from the store.

He doesn’t speak, he grunts. He also throws temper tantrums when we do not feed him during his “meal time”, like the zoo. There are animals more well trained than him. So of course there is no love, no relationship. He’s like an animal ruled by instincts, that can get all of us into real and legal trouble. You can put down an overly-aggressive animal or put a pet up for adoption, but we can’t do anything to him.

So no, now that I have my own life, I refuse to let my bro back into mine. Had a serious talk with my parents and made it clear that I will have nothing to do with him once they are gone.

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I (21) just realised that my favourite kink is directly related to my trauma

I’ve just realised that my favourite choking kink is directly related to my trauma that I tried to suppress for years. Somehow it all came back to me today and I’m not sure what to think about it.

So I thought I always like to be choked (not till a pass out) but my blood being cut off just up until I feel dizzy and then the partner let go, letting all the blood rush back in. It always gave me such adrenaline and an almost sense of calmness that I can now breathe and see again. It always turned me on. Well I thought it was almost my kink.

This morning I was talking to my best friend about our poor choice of men and she then added “at least no one tried to kill me”. This just kinda brought all the memories from my first relationship back and I realised that I never actually liked being choked until the day when my ex-partner almost killed me.

I was in pretty traumatic relationship but it was always relative mild compared to that night. We were fighting and I was trying to calm him down and then at some point he ended up pinning me against a wall and choking me. The next thing I remember is me on the floor in a lot of pain with tears streaming down my face. I guess I suppressed this memory in the past couple of years.

After breaking up with that partner it is then I developed the kink I guess. I’ve realised that I can only get off if my partner chokes me and until today I just thought it was a kink of mine. But now I’m realising it’s just my brain’s way of dealing with the trauma and regaining control with those men that I trust and that when they let go and the blood rushes back in I realise that I’m safe and it’s consensual.

I wish I didn’t regain the memory of that night so I didn’t have to know that my kink is directly related to the most traumatic night of my life and now I’m not sure if I can see this as a kink and not just my copping mechanism. Are the rest of my kinks also a copping mechanism?

A man who was feeling unhappy due to the constant arguments decided to plant a spy application on her mobile phone.

30-year-old Nicholas Wang Weichou installed the application which allowed him to monitor her location, activate the camera and listen to her surroundings.

Typically mobile spy apps have the capability to also control the phone and read incoming messages, text that has been typed (including passwords) and even downloads any media on the phone.

On one occasion he even sent threatening messages to his wife.

Straits Times reported that Wang was also facing charges for moneylending related charges.

Background:

After the constant struggles in their relationship, Wang purchased a software license known as TTSPY which allowed him to have control, read, write, execute and delete contents of his wife’s phone.

He paid a total amount of $160 for two months worth of subscriptions. While his wife was sleeping he installed the application on her phone.

He even took control of her email and social media accounts.

It is not known how his wife found out but her wife later posted messages on Facebook stating that she has been hacked by her husband.

The victim later made a Police report and Wang tried to dispose of his phone at Boon Lay Market after realising that there is a Police case against him.

Money lending

Back in 2020, Wang took $400 from loan sharks but failed to return the money.

He was then “hired” by the loanshark to perform harassment acts in return, he was told to place locks and debtor notes at homes.

Verdict

Wang was jailed 2 weeks for unlawful stalking and an additional 5 months for loanshark harassment activites.