So today we have had the same argument for the 37316517th time and I am really struggling to get my point across.

My wife mentioned that she was going to take a day off in a few weeks to go to the dentist. I said I would take the day off too so that we could spend the morning together and then I would meet my friends in the afternoon.

She casually mentions that she is going to see her aunt after the dentist. I said great, have a good time.

Then she comes in with a guilt trip – It would be nice if you came too, she really enjoys your company, etc … I reminded her that I had said I was busy in the afternoon and we saw her in December so it’s not like I haven’t seen her recently. I would be happy to see her on the weekend but I don’t want to take a day off work for that.

She got annoyed and started trying to push me into going. I felt like I had set a fair boundary regarding my fairly limited free time. Eventually, I gave in because I was trying to work (from home) whilst she was standing in the doorway explaining the 10,000 ways in which I am a bad husband.

If this was a one-off, I’d put it down as a bad experience and move on. But it’s not.

It seems whenever I set aside an afternoon exclusively for me, she takes that as a green light to throw chores in there that didn’t previously exist. Whether it is painting a house, laundry, going to see her family or even just going for a walk.

All things I would happily do if asked … But not after I have explicitly said I am tired / setting aside some time for myself.

The other circumstance is usually her saying that is fine, then proceeding to intentionally taking on a task she cannot do alone so that I have to help and end up feeling guilty so continue to complete with her.

It’s really starting to get to me. She knows I need time to myself to recharge, she knows I gladly do 99% of the things we asks me to do outside of time I have set for myself.

For a bit of context – We don’t have children, I set aside time for myself like this maybe once every six weeks, our day to day domestic duties are fairly evenly split and we both hold up our own end and we regularly see her family with whom I have a good relationship.

How do I effectively communicate this to her? I literally just want some time to myself without that being a green light to guilt me into doing previously unmentioned chores.

I found out that my boyfriend of 2 years is married and has kids, I’m showing myself to his family tomorrow at his church.

I’m just so confused right now and need to talk to somebody.

I’ve been seeing this guy “Adam, 32” for 2 years. We don’t live together but he visits me on weekends. I never met his family, friends or been to his house.

3 weeks ago, I found out that he’s actually married and has 2 kids, I was devastated and in a state of disbelief but most of all, I was mad, especially after I confirmed this via his wife’s social media account.

We’re still talking and I haven’t broken up with him yet…I planned and decided to show myself to his family on Sunday at his church and let them know that he used me and took advantage, I plan on ending it right there and then.

I’m doing this tomorrow and no one knows except myself, He’s still texting me lies thinking that I’m stupid or ignorant.

I feel terrible but something’s pushing me to do this. Don’t know if it’s anger or feeling bad for his wife and kids..

I just…I’m not gonna lie I’m worried this might backfire on me but at this point, I have nothing to lose, I just feel like I need to get my respect and dignity back after being lied to and fooled for 2 years.

A man shared how he can’t take spicy food but he then went to a restaurant with only spicy food as it was his wife’s birthday.

Here is the story:

My wife’s birthday was this past weekend and she wanted to go to this specialty Sichuan restaurant because she is from that region. Sichuan food is known to be really spicy, and is a lot more than I can handle. She knows I can’t do spicy, and we’ve been trying to work on my tolerance with her cooking, but it’s still not that good.

I told her this and suggested we go to a regular Chinese restaurant, but she claimed it’s not the same. She said there will be non spicy options and at worst, she can ask them to make it not spicy. She clung to me and gave me those cute eyes that I couldn’t say no to, so I gave in and agreed. It’s her birthday so I didn’t want to ruin her day.

Well turns out I did anyway. We were at the restaurant and the entire menu was in Chinese. They had an english one but it didn’t really tell me what was spicy and what wasn’t. I let her order a few dishes, the food came, and it was all spicy. Even the ones she said weren’t. I tried to eat it, but I couldn’t so I asked her if she can ask them to make it less spicy.

She told me to take it slowly and to eat more rice. But I wasn’t enjoying it and asked her again. She got a little huffy but called the waiter over. The waiter kind of gave me a look, like one of those confused “why are you here?” looks, but took a dish back. It came back out and it was not as spicy but still has a kick. I think it was the sauce they’re using or something.

I told the waiter it’s still spicy for me, and the waiter said they can’t make it any less spicy than that. My wife was getting embarrassed I think, because the tables next to us were all looking now. When the waiter went away, I asked her if we can go to another restaurant. She said she didn’t want to, since we’re already here and we already have food on the table.

I started getting frustrated and saying that we’ve been out all day, and I haven’t eaten and now I won’t be able to eat because everything is spicy. She told me to just eat the rice and we’ll get something for me after.

I got really offended by that and got up and left, walked around for a bit to cool down then came back to see her by our car. She was furious and said I embarrassed her. I said she knew I couldn’t handle spicy, and she said I shouldn’t have agreed to the restaurant.

In hindsight, I could’ve probably eaten the dish that came back with a lot of rice…but I wouldn’t enjoy it. I don’t think I can get used to spicy food.