My mother is overly critical over everything and wants to win all the time.

For example: –

I order in food from well known eateries to make the family happy and to reduce her burden of having to cook, but she will always complain that the food is too bland or too salty or the food is too hard or soft.

I order in eggs so she does not have to go buy from the wet market. She complains that the eggs that are supposed to be AA size and it does not meet the grade of 70gms at least. (She weighed each piece individually ????????‍) Tried explaining that the seller did indicate +/-70gms but she responded, her threshold is 69gms, anything less is not acceptable.

I buy durians for the family because I know she loves them. She complains that the durians are not as good as the previous batch and has hard spots. (I tried it personally and think it’s alright & still nice) FYI, I only buy MSW and nothing less, but it is still not good enough for her. She forces me to feedback to the seller which makes me embarrassed every single time. (The seller confirmed the MSW is high mountain MSW and hence, flesh is thicker & creamier)

She can leave her bags and mail wherever she likes for months but if I leave my mail over one day on the table, she screams at me to keep it.

She loves to cook and will always try new recipes and insist the family try. She is not interested to listen to constructive feedback and perpetually praises herself for her wonderful creation. If you tell her she could perhaps make it better by doing this or that, she will cut you off by saying she thinks its nice & yummy.

She takes forever to get ready to get out of the house but if so happens, once in a blue moon, she gets ready before me, she screams at me to hurry. But if you tell her to hurry, she will lose her temper.

She is critical over my hairstyle, my complexion, my size, my child. Nothing seems to please her.

As a result, it is getting increasingly difficult to live with her. I guess the day will come, I will have to find my own shelter. ????

Is it shallow to get turned off by someone because they have grammar and spelling problems?

I’m going on a first date with a guy (32) tonight. He’s very handsome and we have a lot in common. He’s been to university and has a masters degree.

BUT, his basic spelling mistakes are really bugging me and turning me off. I can’t cancel the date because of that and it’s in a few hours.

He constantly misspells you’re vs your, their vs there, too vs to, etc; It’s not like he’s rushing!

Is this a deal-breaker? Should I just go on the date with an open mind??

Netizens’ comments

• Keep in mind he also might speak into his phone to text. I do this and I constantly have to correct the you’re versus your etc.

• I think you should give him a chance. I used to be really snobby about that stuff too but then I realized some really good and smart people I know make those mistakes all the time.
  I have a friend who is a native English speaker and is a science professor who does it. For whatever reason (I think she has dyslexia?) some people just never really get (or care about?) spelling.
  This guy has a masters, so he’s not an idiot. I think you should keep an open mind.

I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 6 months. In those 6 months, we have been on maybe 4 dates all of which were planned by me. He also made a huge fuss about having to go out on said dates.

I constantly go to his house and he never makes any effort to come to my house because he doesn’t want to pay for parking. He’s been to my house twice over the span of 6 months while I’ve been visiting him at his house at least twice a week for the past 6 months. Basically, if I don’t go to his house we would never see each other.

I explained to him before we started our relationship that going out on dates and experiencing new things together is important to me. While I don’t mind staying at home and watching TV I don’t want that to be all our relationship consists of. We’ve spoken about it twice while being in a relationship and he’s made no efforts to change.

I told him last night that I feel as if I put in 90% of the effort into the relationship and I don’t feel as if it’s fair. I also told him that I will no longer be doing the lion’s share of work to keep our relationship somewhat afloat and that I won’t be visiting him twice a week anymore.

He told me that this was unfair as I know that he doesn’t have money. He works full time and earns more than I do but he spends all his money on beer. He said that I’m not being fair to him or considerate of his feelings.

I suspect that he might be feeling down due to family issues but whenever I try to talk to him or suggest therapy he just shuts me down. I’ve attempted a lot to help him where I can but I don’t think he wants to help himself. I understand his feelings and will help and support him as a friend if he needs me but I’ve already made the decision that if this continues I will end the relationship as I refuse to accept less than the bare minimum.

However, I do feel guilty and think that I might be acting selfishly and not thinking enough about his personal situation.

Am i in the wrong for refusing to see him and essentially placing an ultimatum on our relationship?

I’ll be turning 25 in a couple of months and am desperately looking for a way out of my current predicament.

I was diagnosed with mental health issues after dropping out of JC and ended up spending most of time at home whilst waiting for my enlistment.

ORD about half a year ago and still cannot bring myself to look for a job or go back to school. I even spoke to my psychiatrist and he basically told me that I needed to, “move pass the thinking stage” and actually start doing something about it.

I have tried doing that but sometimes, the mere thought of going back to school/getting a job paralyzes me with anxiety.

I’ve tried looking through Poly and ITE courses but can’t seem to find anything that really interests me.

I’m hoping to look for a mundane desk-bound job that doesn’t require too much social interaction; apart from having to interact with colleagues when necessary.

My vocation in NS as an admin clerk was similar too that and honestly it wasn’t so bad. I’m at my wits’ end and don’t think I can stand this any longer.

I feel like my brain is rotting and it can sometimes be hard for me to articulate my thoughts coherently. Sorry about the rambling mess.

Netizens’ comments

Hi OP, from my experience, hands on work is one of the best ways to quickly feel fulfilment and let time at work pass by quickly. Too much time thinking can lead to analyse and analyse until you’re paralysed. When your brain is in a phase of stress I believe it’s easy to get discouraged by minor hurdles like applying online for a role, waiting for the interview, preparing for the interview, going for the interview, waiting again.

If you take on a logistics role (like warehouse packer) you’ll find that a lot of the work is independent (so not so much social interactions), your educational papers don’t matter as much, and everyday you’ll finish working feeling like you’ve achieved a lot (eg packed 2000 apples). You can physically see what you’ve achieved. This will help you gain confidence because you will see your ability to work and provide value and you will get a sense of contributing to society and your family with every paycheck. If all goes well and you still feel like you want to go to a desk-bound job that is mundane, then with this confidence you can go for that.

If you don’t feel like a warehouse role is suitable for you and your situation, choose any job where there’s action (like hospitality – some roles are not full of social interactions – or being a technician or whatever role where you’re actually doing).

A little background. My brother and his girlfriend all live together. They both lost their jobs from covid and housing is expensive so I offered to let them live with me. I own my house and they both pay me a small rent. They have been great roommates except this one thing.

I am a little bit of a paranoid person and when I was renting out before, I bought a camera for my room to make sure no one goes in there. It is pointed at my door. I used to always leave my door closed but now that I rent to my brother and his gf I just leave it open because I trust them more.

I don’t usually check the camera but a couple days ago out of curiosity I did and I saw my brother’s gf walking down the living room naked. I checked previous footage and saw her doing it all the time. I felt disgusted that she was walking around my home like that.

So when she got home from work that day I confronted her about it and said that it was nasty seeing her naked and not to do it anymore. She was angry and asked how I knew she was walking around naked because she never does it when I’m home. I think this is probably true because I work a regular 9-5 and come home for lunch at the same time every day. So she would know when I am home and when I’m not. But anyway I told her that I have a camera in my room and it saw her walking around naked almost every day. This made her even madder and she said she never would have done that if she knew I had a camera. She said it was like I was trying to see her naked on purpose.

Now this made me mad and I told her that if I saw her do it again I would reconsider letting her live here. She said what’s the big deal if I’m not even home and to just take down the stupid camera. I told her that it was my house and my room and my rules and I can do whatever the hell I want. She stormed off after this and hasn’t talked to me since.

I guess she texted my brother about it because when he got home he blew up at me. I thought I was in the right here but my brother and I always get along and now that he’s mad at me I’m questioning if Im in the wrong?

So my birth giver has come to the conclusion that she no longer wants to attend my wedding due to the fact that she has come to discover my tattoos.

She went into the fact saying that due to me not respecting her decisions or caring about her feelings or whatever that she is not going attend.

Heres the thing, idk if the tattoo set her off or the fact that I was not going to be married in a church or what but I mean..to not attend your kids wedding then go and say that I have never put her feelings first is like…WTF?

Yall please tell me if im being wrong or not.

Oh! This past week we went dress shopping and that is how she discovered my tattoo.

I am going to return all the shit she chose because me being who I am, I just let her pick out dresses and jewelry and whatever but now in light of all this BS I am just going to return all the things she chose and go with the black dress that i have wanted to wear to my wedding.

Am i the one that is being unreasonable or is she? Idk help a woman out

Netizens’ comments

• Your life just got simplified. Go with the black dress and accept your moms decision. Now you don’t have to discuss your wedding with her, because she’s not involved. Joy!

• You are 100% right. If she doesn’t respect your autonomy then she can go fly her broomstick elsewhere. Stick to your gut instinct about what you want for your wedding.