Awkward freshman struggling with feeling loneliness here, especially during random late nights. While I am practising speaking with new people and getting slightly better every day, to a point where I can do some basic small talk, it’s really tough overcoming the social awkwardness that really isolates myself from people. I realized that after nearly 21 years of my life I don’t have one friend I can truly can connect with and can call up this hour and share my true feelings with.

I get that it takes time to build meaningful relationships and trust, and over the last few months I’ve grasped the opportunities this year, going for CCAs, signing up for external events, speaking to many people who I really appreciate, but sometimes the intense feeling of loneliness just keeps coming back.

Tbh I’m not someone who is super clingy and am quite cool with doing things myself mostly whether it’s eating alone or doing stuff alone (which i’ve made an effort to reduce since I entered uni), but I think deep down I can’t handle so much of it especially over such a long time period. Ironically I appreciate that uni is busy enough that these are mostly fleeting instances where I feel this way, instead of a permanent feeling.

I think it has really improved alot since my jc and ns days where at two points i wrote out a super long negative note and to document all that fear frustration and regret in an attempt to vent it out since I didn’t exactly have people I felt I could speak to without having them leave me the next day.

Today, I don’t need a shoulder to cry on, but I really want to deepen the friendships, to share my listening ear and shoulder with someone else, so that when I know I can share my real feelings when I go through a rough patch and they’ll be there for me. Hoping you guys have some suggestions of how I can get there.

photo for illustration

I don’t have a throwaway account, so please don’t hunt me down. Anyway, hope i can obtain some advice.

Some background info about me. I went to a 6 year IP Secondary School/Junior College. I’m an introvert, was a loner, had only 1-2 good friends, stuck with gaming for the first 3-4 years.

Fast forward to JC1, i am taking PCME H1 econs. Grades are really bad since i have no motivation to learn useless subjects just for a certificate that would allow me to enter a Uni. I have shit year 4 results, O level equivalent would be around 28 points.

I also got bored of gaming in early JC1 and quit gaming cold turkey. I am sort of a loner, didn’t fit in with my male classmates as all were on the very noisy, rowdy, gaming spectrum.

Also, I have very severe eczema that is hindering my ability to carry out activities that require sweating & sometimes even walking and also studies. I feel as if the JC curriculum is just not for me due to the immense amount of stress. It also took a turn for the worse 1-2 weeks ago where I had to “sleep off the pain”.

However, i am very interested in AI, cryptocurrency trading & blockchain technologies. Also am founder of a small project in cryptocurrencies & have a sizeable stack from trading/investing. I want to pick up programming, mainly C++, Python, Javascript & Solidity to potentially prepare for my career in the cryptocurrency space.

Thus, i am thinking of dropping out from JC to Poly and taking up an information technology (IT) course as I thought it would help me build a good foundation for potential further studies in University or for my future career. I am appealing to all polys except temasek. Have sent an email to them but have not received any replies yet. I am very worried about not being able to enter a poly & my desired course. Also my prelims start a few hours later & i’m not very optimistic about even subpassing. Do Polys look at JC1 grades as reference too?

I understand that my case is very unique, but I would appreciate any advice from anyone who has been in a similar situation before.

TLDR

Have shit grades, social issues, severe eczema, but very interested in blockchain/crypto technology. Am worried about not getting into my desired course in Poly.

Edit: just to clarify, i’m JC1 now

Source: https://www.reddit.com/r/singapore/comments/6z9up8/dropping_out_of_jc_to_go_poly/