I see this agent dono get my contact from where, suddenly pop up in my WhatsApp. Her DP so chio, standard influencer look—sharp chin, big eyes, and the kind of smile that makes you forget your bank account balance. I thought maybe I lucky for once, right? So we met at McDonald’s, standard heartland dating spot.
She sit across me and the vibe already damn weird. She wearing those super low-cut OL tops, and the whole time we talking, she keep leaning forward and squeeze her nei nei together like she trying to make a sandwich. Every time I ask about the policy details, she just giggle and say, “Don’t worry about the fine print, just trust me leh.” Then she’ll do that eye power thing while adjusting her top. My brain tell me “run,” but my brother down there tell me “invest.”
End up, I really blur like sotong. She keep pushing and pushing, saying how she need to hit target and how she will “take care” of me after. I sign until my hand shake. I ended up buying the handicapped plan (total irony) and the retirement plan. The premium every month can buy like 200 McSpicy meals, siao liao.
But the best part? After I sign the iPad and the “Thank You” email come in, her face change faster than MRT breakdown. I was waiting for the “reward” she was hinting at, then I jokingly ask if she can help me “squeeze” also since she so expert at it.
Knn, she immediately pull her cardigan over, stand up, and say, “Sir, please respect my profession, I am a financial consultant.” Then she walk off to her Mercedes before I can even finish my cold fries. Now I’m stuck with two policies I don’t need, a hole in my pocket, and only my own two hands to do the squeezing. Moral of the story: If the agent is too chio, your money is going to tio (hit). Don’t be a simp in Mcdonalds, guys. Sian.
Update: heard from friend got what buyer’s remorse, i go file then i get siao make her meet me again. Knn give her taste of her own medicine. This time I want make sure she kiap something else with her nei nei