My (25f) BF (29f) wouldn’t marry me after 8 years together so I left.
My ex boyfriend “Rick” and I got together when I was 18. We’ve grown so much together as people, figured out our life plans together, we even planned to have children in the next couple of years.
However one of my boundaries was marriage before 8 years. Why? Because if you don’t want to marry someone after being together for that long then why stay together at all?.
Rick and I have built a life together. He makes six figures in the tech industry and owns his own consultancy company, I own my own business and work in marketing. Everything has been good but despite being financially stable, emotionally developed people, Rick wouldn’t marry me.
I asked him for months if it was something I had done. Did he find me unattractive now?. He said no, just not yet. I reminded him of my boundary and he told me he was aware.
Well last month was my birthday. 25 and still not married. I made the tough decision of leaving after Rick tried to pretend that my birthday was a happy day and pretended to be confused on why I was upset.
I’ve been in therapy but is there anything else I can do to get over this man and how he strung me along for years and wasted some of the best years of my life?.
Netizens’ comments
- You’re only 25….you have many good years ahead of you
- If you think the best years of your life are happening now, or happened already, you’re mistaken. I promise you your life has barely begun at 25.
I understand being frustrated that you’ve wasted 8 years on someone who won’t commit. It’s healthy to have a boundary like that and hold firmly to it.
There are so many great things waiting for you in life and you have decades to experience them all. - I wouldn’t say he strung you along and wasted the best years of your life. He told you that he didn’t want to get married yet, you set the (very reasonable) ultimatum of 8 years and left when he still wasn’t ready. Rather than view this as him wasting your life, look back on your relationship for what it was. And focus your energy on your plans for the future, what you want and how you will get it. You are only 25. You have plenty of ‘best years of your life’ left.