Bf wants to sleep with multiple people
I came into a relationship, it’s been almost 10 months now. We are pretty serious and planned a pretty detailed future together, but a new information came to light.
He had mentioned earlier that he wants to sleep with various people with different features and personality, to which I responded with okay but I will do the same and after which he backed out. I thought he wasn’t that serious.
I am not an attractive woman, I think that he might be feeling like he is missing out by being with me. I am not his dream girl but I do know he loves me so he won’t be able leave me. I have been getting this feeling that one day someone better will come along and he will regret choosing me, he won’t leave me even then.
I have been very loving, patient and giving in this relationship. I thought before all this that we are the only ones for each other, because he kept reassuring me that I am his “everything”.
We were having a very loving conversation and our conversation led to this topic, while we were discussing about our future and talking about building a family, somehow the conversation got to him wanting to sleep with other people. I said that he cannot, he argued is it wrong that he wants to experience. I said is it okay if I go and fulfill my fantasies as well then, to which he opposed very firmly.
At this point the fact that I was thinking about our future a minute ago to this, I was on my verge because times are hard right now, we are in a long distance relationship and we are not able to communicate properly mostly from his side for days and we have been fighting a lot so safe to say I have been really patient.
I feel that his treatment, his whole attitude would have been different if I was his dream girl and if I was pretty.
I cried the whole night, while he went to sleep. I wrote in my diary, bawled my eyes out and decided to be by his side till he pulls himself out of a difficult situation in which he is in rn, it might take him about 2-3 years. He is in a very dire situation, suicidal you can say.
And when he gets to where he desires I am going to leave him to live his best live, so that he can explore. Because I cannot be loved in fractions, it hurts. Also I don’t want any of us to miss out on anything.
I want to be loved fully, whole and just feel that. Also I want him to experience whatever he wants in life. Both of these things cannot coexist and I don’t want either to miss out on one.