When is it too soon to move in together? My (36m) gf (38f) asked me to move in?
So I (36m) met my gf(38f) two months ago. Things seemed to be on the fast track. We met online and on first day we exchanged numbers and set a date. The first date went very well and We clicked immediately. After the first date been spending a lot of time together.
For the last month we would spend six Nights a week together. It got to the point where I rarely sleep in my own bed.
She just moved into a new place and wants me to move in with her. I’m all in favor of it, I love her and ngl I’m very happy to reduce my expenses.
While we don’t have immediate plans on getting married. We both confessed that we see us spending rest of our lives together.
I have a good feeling but I just want to be sure I’m not rushing into anything.
Netizens’ comments
- I would hazard a guess and say 2 months is definitely still too soon. Personally I wouldn’t consider it until at least a year of dating
- You are still in the honey moon phase
Nothing good will come from you moving in this quickly into a relationship - 2 months is too soon.
You haven’t seen each other sick, stressed – hell, you haven’t even gone through a season together.
Have you had a realistic convo about finances? Who pays for what? Who makes what? Credit, if that’s a thing where you live? Do either of you have kids? How is visitation handled? Family guests? Friends? Cleaning?
Are you going to be a co-owner of the house? A renter? Legally, those are very different.
What happens if in 6 months, you realize you actually didn’t know each other and you want to move out? Where do you go? Will you owe rent?
Right now, you’re in a haze of hormones, lust and maybe love.
Take a breath, let the haze clear, and have some hard talks. - Go on at least a one week trip together, preferably lower budget. That should give you a better clue.
But aside from that, time wise it sounds short but it differs from couple to couple so … - It would be kind of fast IMO.
Normally, I would suggest for couples to spend a year at minimal before they move in together. Really flush out their relationship and ensure there is a solid foundation in place.
But, that is typically geared towards younger couples.
I think a good test here would be… to see her reaction to your hesitation.
If she understands that it might be fast and is willing to take it slow. Good sign. Don’t rush it, give it a couple more months then pull the trigger.
If that conversation breaks the relationship, like she can’t handle the idea of taking it slow… Well… Probably a good indication that you’re walking into a trap.
Keep in mind… People are always on their best behaviour in the early stages. You two only scratched the surface of each-other, still strangers in a sense. Better to be safe and gain some experience together… go through a couple of tests before you make a drastic decision like that.