This point of this post is not to start a war between those with children and childfree people, but to facilitate geniune discussion for those who are on the fence, or couples who have differing opinions on children.
My partner and I are in our late 20s and have discussed to never have a child due to a multitude of reasons.
- Money – the money required to raise a child is ridiculous, assuming the child is going to university. Just in terms of money, raising a child takes hundreds of thousands of dollars, not to mention the actual act of raising and educating a human being from scratch. In the face of endless inflation and rising cost of living, having a child seems to be only negatives on top of many negatives.
- Competency/quality as parents – this may be a controversial point, but I am of the opinion that some people should not have children due to genetic disorder or unresolved issues that may affect the upbringing of the child. It is unfair to both parent and child if both affect each other negatively, the child bringing more stress to an already overly stressed parent and the child not being able to be brought up “properly”. Both me and my partner do not like children and cannot stand their crying or tantrums, which makes us unqualified parents.
- (Trigger warning) Children are not retirement plans. – I have lost friends over this point when I discussed the pros and cons of having a child. Many pro child people always bring up the same points about “who is going to take care of you when you’re older?”, I think it is absolutely messed up if you give birth to a child in the expectation of your child becoming a source of funds for your future retirement plan and expect them to take care of you just because you selfishly decide to bring them into this world, in which they themselves have absolutely zero say in. You should absolutely plan for your own retirement as if you do not have children, having your child take care of you should be considered a privilege and not a given. To those who believe in the notion of “Im your parent, you owe me this this this because I took care of you”, I count my blessings that I would never have to meet you in my lifetime and give a prayer to those who have to put up with you, especially your child.
- “Children are a source of happiness and makes your life fulfilled and complete”. – To some people, they absolutely are, but I fail to see how from my own POV. In terms of numbers , they are an absolute liability to your overall quality of life and standard of living. The money thrown into raising a child could have gone towards the house or a expensive holiday or any wants, not to mention the stress free life of not having to consider the needs of a child before going anywhere. I could literally book a flight ticket tonight to anywhere in the world and go away for a month if I wanted to, something those with children could only dream about. Children can be a source of happiness, but there are also other sources of happiness in life that brings equal amount of joy, dont fall into societal norms just because everybody around you are having children, decide for yourself.
If you have read this far, thank you for your time listening to my rambling and I am ready to have my mind changed about having children.
I would like to end this post by saying that even with all those points above, and you have chose to still have children and is currently bringing them up in a warm and loving environment, you have my full respect and best wishes in cultivating the next generation. It is a thankless and noble job that I can never envision myself to do properly, and I am eternally grateful to my own parents who took such good care of me.
Cheers to all the parents in the world.