Me(26) and my gf(25) of 2.5years would like to bto(knowing that bto takes 5 years to build) for a long time however whenever we want to seek her parents side for approval, her mom would be the one rejecting it, giving all sort of excuse like need more time to understand one another etc.
For this year’s Feb BTO, I got fed up and decided to seek her real reason (as I feel that the reasoning she gave is not suffice is just a cover story of her real reason.
To my horror, she actually read through my messages (last year) with my gf and saw messages of me talking rubbish about her. (But obviously is just talking rubbish one example of it would be “eh go loan money from ur dad, so that we can buy a condo instead like my friend’s mom did”. ) she claimed that the above-mentioned statement is undermining her as she just retired and doesnt have that amount
There’s a lot many other instances that is negligible to us but it seems like a big deal to her. Things went sour afterwards and it seems that she make it clear that we should remain as friends and doesnt approve me.
Currently, my gf still meet me weekly however, her mom would always try to persuade her to break up.
What should I do? I have a fantastic relationship with my gf and I do not want to give this up. Is breaking up the best solution? I apologised but it seems that she cant accept it… i really do not want to give this up.
Here are what netizens think:
- think about it, will u marry away your daughter to a guy who jokes to take your money? how will u feel assure if you intend to allow this marriage. apologise to her mum, explain to her and guarantee her you will not be getting a single cent from her even u need to slp by the roadside.
- When the 1st impression was bad, then it’s really hard to fix. Many people might think…you are marrying your gf, not her mom. Is it that possible in reality? Will she cut tie with her mom? Your girlfriend is in the middle and probably is uncomfortable now. If I didn’t misunderstand, you had already apologised to her but she hasn’t forgive you. I guess…you hv to try harder, much harder. Don’t do anything harsh, like making it as you don’t give a damn to her bec your gf will feel that her mom is right about you.
- If you really think…that your gf is worth your effort to beg for approval and forgiveness frm her mom. Do your best. Give it all. Show your respect and sincerity. You know…we are asian, marrying is not individual matter as American. Our families are involved, like it or not, it is fact. I am Thai and hv modern thinking. I had education abroad. I admitted that I don’t appreciate my mother in law that much, but for my husband’s sake. I give in, show her respect. Though without affection, I still hv manner and treat her properly.
- Think, not just for today. Think for your children, will you give them a grand mom/grand parents? You know…smart guy knows when to blend, not to break. You may seem to lose to beg for forgiveness, but you will win her heart at the end. This is just the test…how mature you are to deal with tough and uncomfortable situation. There will be more to come through out our lives. Don’t give up. I cheer for you