When to be honest and when to not?
I have always been the shy, quiet perso who obviously lacks communication skills and sometimes rather just exit silently.
Sometimes people hate it that I don’t tell them. What’s wrong but often I feel it’s obvious. (Maybe it’s just obvious to me?!)
I grew up in a very very traditional family whereby the male or the “head of family” have the say and as a female, I should take the back row. Doesn’t help when my father is egoistic and have too much pride.
I often caught my father or someone else in situations that they’re wrong – like stealing or cutting queue or being unreasonable…etc
I usually just kept quiet. The only few times I did spoke up (to my dad), ended either in quarrels or cold war, as in he got so angry that he took it out on my mother and sibling as well. He always give all of us cold shoulders or throw items of someone/switch off the electricity from the power supply just to show his unhappiness and authority. Basically, “all for one”; one person anger him, everyone gets punished.
My sibling and I don’t earn much and much of our earnings goes back to our parents and the family expenses. My mother have chronic illness which requires regular checkups and medicines, so hard for us to move out.
Problem is, it’s affecting everyone now that he is getting more used to us giving in to him to avoid argument and having other members dragged into it. My mother is also getting less tolerant of him and quarrels more often with him.
I got tired coming back from work to someone switching the main power off randomly or having to pick my items out from the dustbin. I really wish to tell him honestly how childish and annoying he is but I know things will get really nasty because
1) I might not be able to regulate my temper well enough if he pounced, get defensive and come up with his rubbish excuses and blaming techniques (“the seller is rude so I don’t return his plate to the tray return!”, “Police won’t catch me since it’s only one small item and I am an elder!”)
2) someone is bound to come in to “add on” – esp my sibling who chooses to stay over at his friend more than at home
3) I don’t like confrontation… And I do feel it’s not going to do anything to the situation…
If it’s you, what would you do?