I miss being in prison
When I was incarcerated I longed for freedom with every fibre of my being, even if that meant being homeless and starving, as long as I could look at the stars at night.
Now, a few years on and I find myself missing it. I miss knowing exactly what the routine would be each day, eating 3 square meals, and not having to worry about balancing my diet or affordability as it was all just provided.
I miss having friends in there and I miss having people around me all the time. Its hard to make friends or keep up with a social life on the outside, whereas locked up you have no choice.
I miss the violence too to some extent. You know where you stand and what will happen if you make a mistake. You know the consequence for each action and you make choices based on that.
Out here is 10× more unpredictable, people get away with all sorts and justice is not as black and white. I feel unsure in most choices I make. I often question the morality of a situation, but in prison I just ‘knew’.
I dont know if this makes sense, it probably makes me sound very ungrateful or pathetic. I understand that. I never thought I’d feel this way and certain individual experiences in prison were the worst things I’ve ever been through in my life so my mindset doesn’t make much sense.
I just wanted to get this off my chest because I couldn’t tell anyone in my life without looking like an idiot. Thank you for reading.
Netizens’ comments
- Nah it makes sense. It appears a twisted viewpoint bc only a handful actually understand the context of where you’re coming from. From someone else who’s been locked up, I get it. It’s a completely different type of stress and the day to day stress everyone else deals with is a lot more exhausting in a way.
- Have you looked into joining the military? If you’re looking for a regimented lifestyle with friends and some higher levels of accountability sounds like a good option!
- Maybe try making your routine with your rules? Some people need strict routines and now you have freedom to choose it and change if you want
You can give especific rules to everything too if helps
And maybe help people and let them help you on day by day things. This exchange of favors can strengthen bonds and give a sense of necessity