Context: my wife and our 2 kids live in my parent’s place with our maid.
I witnessed him slapping her buttocks as he walked past her. He was smiling like it was a joking pat to a girlfriend. I asked my maid in private later if I saw correctly. She said it’s happened so many times and she’s told him to stop, and now she’s glad I saw it for myself.
My initial reaction was to suspect both of them were screwing each other, but after piecing some observations together, we came to the conclusion that she’s innocent and that she had been desperately trying to get our attention to it without actually saying it.
We got my mum to speak to my dad privately to save him some face. He claims that he did that because he treats her like a child. The part that pisses us off was him saying “if you want me to stop, then I won’t do it anymore lor”, because he is (1) completely unaware that what he is doing is wrong and (2) we are denying him some sort of twisted love and entitlement.
That was 2 months ago. Seems like he stopped slapping her butt, and we thought this blew over.
Then 3 days ago, my wife saw my maid crying quietly in a corner. She said my dad jokingly pretended to pinch her, but his fingers came dangerously close to her breasts. We verified with her if the pinch was on the arm (even that we wouldn’t approve) but she confirmed that if it was on the arm she wouldn’t be that upset.
She also said he has been making non-stop comments about her dressing when she is about to go out. “Wah today you wear long pants, so tight.” And “wah this shirt look sexy ah, where you going?” (It was just a Tshirt with a shorter frill sleeve).
Our maid has been absolutely amazing and we love her so much and think of her as family, but during the recent cry she said that if its not because of our daughter, she would have gone home. She can’t take it anymore.
Truth is, all of us are sick of the old man. He is the huge black hole sucking all happiness out. Every word he says is negative, about one-sided politics, and seeking attention. Nobody respects him anymore, and we just tolerate it.
Now with this crisis, we are almost forced to choose sides and its clear we rather the maid than him. So… what now?