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Wednesday, February 8, 2023


I am (25F) My fiancé (23M) and I have been together 4 years and engaged for about 8 months. I found flirty texts from his coworker (28F) from 6am- even 2am. Someone in the office even thought SHE was his fiancé :/


Something in me told me to look at my fiancés Apple Watch (I went thru phone a handful of times in the past to be honest). But anyway I saw messaged from his coworker. Went to bathroom and read more. They weren’t horrible, but concerning. Someone at work referred to her as his fiancé and they continued to use it to flirt about. He deleted text when I asked for his phone. I said I’m sorry but I just really need to see something and he let me look at it. Texts were deleted. He also prior to this went to the bar that coworker also works at so I asked him during that time if he went there bc he knows she works there. And he lied about it multiple times and doubled down on it. I brought it up again since I found the messages.

Anyway, I somehow figured out how to recover the messages thankfully before he completely deleted them (bc he lies and would attempt to get rid of them). He was texting her tonight until around 1:30am.

They play iPhone pool games all day everyday. Obviously they flirt over that. I found that every pic he sent to me over text (of dogs, etc) she also received and he also sent her more pics than what I got. He texts her “hey he my friend” or “I’m bored where’s my friend”. I don’t get texts like that. He says he missed her and stuff when not in office and asks her if she misses him when he is gone.

She left post it notes on his desk saying “try not to miss me too much” and “here is a pic of me if u get lonely” w a stick figure on his desk.


They text each other right when they wake up about what kind of sleep they had or if feeling sick. He constantly texts her to see how she’s feeling. They send their locations when they’re near where the other lives. He asked her if she wanted ice cream. They talk about going to the gym and I feel like there is hopes of meeting up. Sometimes when he mentions that I work late the gym is brought up whatever that means. They send pics to each other and she sends videos (nothing sexual but still). Apparently the clothing questions are because they have the same colored pants and they don’t want to match idk. The one day I was at his work she wasn’t there. And he old her. She acting sad she missed me and he said maybe I timed it like that (he didn’t I had an interview downtown and he works near)

Anyway I am really hurt. I feel stupid and dumb and he tried to lie to me about it over and over again which makes it worse. He says he’s sorry, he had no intentions of anything the whole time so he doesn’t think it’s that bad. He said he sees where I’m coming from. I don’t know what to do. I’m going to talk to my mom. I feel betrayed like he doesn’t respect me or our relationship. He also messaged her none stop when she’s at the bar and texts to make sure she made it home. He doesn’t text me when I’m at the bar like that . Says it’s because I’m having a good time w my friends. I’m in shock and sad. Don’t love the way it was so easy for him to lie to me and he is only sorry he got caught. I have tried to call my mom to see what she thinks on the situation, but she’s asleep. Need someone to talk to. Or get some opinions.

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