My fiancee thinks her parents are being unfairly treated as compared to mine.
I have moved in with my girlfriend for 2 years. We announced our engagement and let our parents know about our wedding plan recently. Both parents congratulated us and gave us their blessings. My parents then immediately wired me and her each 20k to support us for the wedding.
Now we are planning our next year budget. When it comes to the ang-bao, I proposed for this year only, we would give hers 200 each, while mine is 1000 each, as a way to repay their support. My fiancee was immediately triggered and went mad, thinking I was being unfair and did not respect her parents.
Was I actually unfair? If not how can I calm her down and bring her come to her sense?
Here are what netizens think:
- While your parents both gave u 20k, doesn’t mean that you need to give your parents more money because your parents may be rich to begin with so sending you 20k each is nothing to them?If you wanna give your parents $1000 each, why not you and your partner come up with $200 and you yourself top up the $800 difference?My parents in law gave me a huge angpao for wedding because they are well to do, but my mum gave me a huge angpao (not as huge) but it’s a lot based on the fact that she’s a retiree.We have always gave same rates to both our parents eh.
- Fairness and equality is not the same. In the sensitive case like this, both parents should get equal amounts. But it is fair to say that, you wanted to give your parents more because they gave you and your lady big wedding money. You want to return their favors. But now, both side parents become our parents. End.
- LoL….The difference between man and woman is that to man, repaying their parents for the sum they gave is a logical and filial thing to do. But to woman, not giving the same or more amount to her parents means the guy doesn’t take her seriously. You made things worse by being the one who suggested those amount….There is no right or wrong in this case. It’s just how each gender view things.So I suggest you should adjust the her parents angbao either make it equal or slightly more.If you want to be a filial son, you can top up with your own money
- raise it to her that your parents were being generous to give each of you 20k for your wedding and the angbao is like a kind ‘giving-back’ gesture. if she wants to give her parents more, she can folk out herself right?