Marital Woes
My wife had two affairs with different men behind my back.
Context
Long story made short, early in our marriage my wife had two affairs while I was serving the army as a regular (Honestly I made a mistake to marry when I know I won’t be around most of the time).
She had an affair with the next door neighbor and it went on for almost a year. I found out about it, and years later she came clean about the full extent.
She also had an affair with one of her childhood friends and had a kid but chose to abort it.
During this time I lost both parents and got hurt fairly bad. She was never there. We opted to stick it out. We have four children and have been married 16 years.
We can be having a perfectly fine time and my brain will go “remember this?” “Here are the details”. It sends me spiraling.
My wife is flirty and I have a lot of issues when she is being flirty with other men, even if it is completely innocent.
Do I think she will cheat again? No. But I don’t know how to move past that hurt. Its been so long and it still hits me.
I don’t know that I’ll ever be able to move past it and she doesn’t deserve that.
What in the world is wrong with me?