I just moved and staying with my brother until I can find my own place to rent. I don’t have much friends aside from him and some people I have met a work.
Most of the people I have met have been through my brother including a guy “Jason” that I started developing feelings. They work together and he sometimes comes over to his after work to hangout.
When my brother has his friends over I often come to the common area to hang out because I’m a social person. I thought Jason and I were really hitting it off, we both have really fun personalities and he made me laugh a lot.
My brother has thrown a couple of little parties at his place. Some of the other guys who would come would bring a girl with them but I noticed that Jason never brought anyone.
Last week everyone was leaving Jason and I were both plastered & I told him he should stay the night. We discussed it a bit but he ended up stating that he needed to get home. To be fair I didn’t explicitly say I wanted him to stay over to hookup because I don’t like to make the first move, but I did have him considering staying over which I thought meant something.
After that night I told my brother that I liked his friend and asked him if I should just make the first move on him and see what happened. This is when my brother laughed at me and told me he was married. I was shocked and my brother showed me his Instagram account for proof, which was private, and I saw images of his wife.
I didn’t plan on saying anything to Jason when he came back over the next week but after a few drinks I told him if he was having guilty conscience over his wife he needs to either get over it and make a move or put a wedding ring on. He feint confusion so I told him that not only does him not wearing a ring make him look single, it also sends a message to the people that do know he’s married that he’s in a rocky relationship. I also pointed out that he almost stayed the night the week prior.
Jason said he didn’t wear his ring because it was unsafe due to the job he worked and because when he came over here it was either right after work or he’d run out of the house after changing and not think about it since he was just going to a friend’s. But I know the reason is BS as he flirted back with me.
He also told me the reason he hadn’t brought his wife over to drink with everyone else is that she was pregnant and didn’t want to come. She apparently picked him up last week. Jason also said he never considered staying the night with me, he had thought I meant for him to sleep on the couch until he sobered up the next morning and could drive home but “since I was drunk I guess I misunderstood what you meant”. I’m not sure I believe that part.
He left shortly after that and my brother said I was a B** for running his friend off after he’d told me he was married. I wasn’t trying to be problematic but I really thought he liked me and I wanted to confront the issue at hand because I do feel like he was giving me mixed signals.