Am I the one being unreasonable or is the “market rate” for weddings getting out of hand?
I need to get this off my chest because I am genuinely floored by a WhatsApp message I received this morning.
So, a close friend of mine—or at least I thought he was—got married over the weekend at a well-known 5-star hotel in Orchard. It was a nice enough affair, standard 8-course dinner, free-flow beer, the usual works. Today, I get a text from him essentially “checking in” on my wedding ang bao. He didn’t even beat around the bush. He literally sent me a screenshot of a “Wedding Ang Bao Rates 2026” website and pointed out that the cost per pax for his venue is now $238 after GST and service charge.
I gave $208.
He had the audacity to tell me that because we are “good bros,” he expected me to at least cover the cost of my seat so he wouldn’t “lose money” on the banquet. I am sitting here wondering when attending a celebration of love turned into a commercial transaction. Since when did I sign a contract to subsidize your choice of an expensive venue?
Look, I get it. Inflation in Singapore is no joke. Everything from chicken rice to COE is hitting record highs. But $238 for a single dinner seat? That is nearly a quarter of a thousand dollars. If you choose to hold your wedding at a luxury hotel that charges $2,300+ per table, that is a lifestyle choice you made. You cannot “invoice” your guests for the difference because your guest list didn’t fit your budget.
I gave $208 because, in my mind, that is already a very generous amount for a friend. It’s a “huat” number, it’s sincere, and it’s what I can comfortably afford without eating grass for the rest of the month. To be confronted over a $30 deficit feels incredibly cheap and transactional.
Is this what Singaporean weddings have become? A crowdsourced funding round for a one-night party? If you can’t afford the “loss,” then host a smaller lunch, do a buffet, or just hold it at a void deck. Don’t invite people you care about and then treat them like walk-in customers at a restaurant.
Honestly, the friendship feels stained now. If our relationship is only worth the $30 gap between “market rate” and my sincerity, maybe I shouldn’t have gone at all.
TL;DR: Friend messaged me to complain my $208 ang bao didn’t cover the $238 cost of his high-SES hotel wedding. Is the “market rate” culture killing our friendships or am I just “low-SES”?