Hey all, Bit an about me. I’m 27, and moved to Singapore last year for work.
The excitement upon moving here was overwhelming, the life and cultural experiences I would gain, the professional advancement, the chance to travel.
I was finally getting rewarded for years of hard work with my company and given a chance to see the world and grow. It all sounded incredible. The reality, however, is that I felt isolated almost immediately.
I am relatively inexperienced in the specific field that I am now working in and I learned it really fast. I’ve been advancing quickly, but I have felt like an outsider the entire time.
My insecurities towards my professional life have made it extremely difficult to network and develop a friend group and have led me down a path of constant anxiety and depression.
Now, a bit of a backstory about me. When I was in college I tried my hand at online poker. Despite the fact that I had no bankroll management skills, I developed pretty quickly into a strong player.
I continued to play and play and play, always making loads and busting it all. I was lucky to cash out any amount. Anyways, I thought those days were long behind me until I moved out here.
To cope with anxiety and depression, I began gambling heavily out here. And I mean very heavily. On the weekends I would find myself at MBS or Sentosa playing blackjack for 1k a hand, betting sports online for several thousand…I have depleted all of the money that I’ve earned from my job, so I turned to money lenders.
I don’t gamble anymore, but I continually have to borrow in order to pay back existing lenders. It’s crazy to think that I make over 10k a month and can’t get a loan from an actual bank.
The interest rates on the money lender loans are killing me! I have talked with my parents and they can only offer their love to me.
This year I’m going to start seeing someone about my depressive thoughts and unhappiness. Work-wise, things are actually going well. I still very much feel like an outsider but I’ve been making great improvements despite the way I feel.
I really need help out of this deep dark hole, but the truth is I have no one to talk to or that will listen. I owe 19,800 in money lender loans, and I have 75 dollars in my bank account to make it until February. No idea what I’m going to do….anyways, thanks for reading and if anyone out there wants to chat I’m free.