My boyfriend) and I live in on the opposite ends of Singapore for work and we visit each other on the weekends. Together about 2 years.
He is really fit, works out all the time but he is also a big eater and loves sweet food. He doesn’t really put on weight and when he goes grocery shopping he is really strict with himself and buys mostly healthy food and basic ingredients.
I on the other hand love cooking and will make different things every week. So for example, I have lots of ingredients that i don’t use very often and they typically last me MONTHS (like honey, jam or peanut butter).
Also, for example I buy really expensive organic peanut butter which costs $10. I don’t have a sweet tooth and a jar of jam can easily last me 3 weeks, but he will eat a jar all in one go (no judgement). He does not buy things like peanut butter, jam or honey for himself because he says to me, “I will eat the whole jar in one sitting if I get peanut butter”, and then laugh it off.
This doesn’t bother me at all that he will eat sweet food quickly, but this is what bothers me: often times when he comes to my house he will literally eat all of my peanut butter (or jam, or honey) when i am out of the kitchen.
Like if i am out for a walk he will eat a few bites of peanut butter, and before he goes to bed he will eat some peanut butter. He will squeeze honey into his mouth every time he walks by the kitchen cupboard. At first I thought it was funny, and didn’t care bc what’s mine is his.
Then I started asking him to stop doing that because it runs out quicker. But then it happened a few times where I went to make myself jam and toast and it was all gone and he hadn’t told me or replaced it.
Once that started happening I asked him to stop doing it because it really bothers me when I just buy something and then it’s gone. It has now happened over 8 times at least, and I shouted at him a month ago for doing this with honey because I went to make a recipe and I had no honey (even though i had JUST bought some).
And what i find the MOST infuriating is I go grocery shopping once a week, so if he told me he ate it all, he could say it that I should get some more and also revolut me (so he isn’t wasting my time and my money).
I said to him 2 months ago- the next time he does this I will not speak to him for a week because nothing is getting through to him that I can’t have this keep happening to me. I actually hid my peanut butter this last weekend and he told me that his mom has to do the same thing in her house.
But just now- I went to use honey in my cup of tea and there was only a tiny bit left and I am fuming. It has transitioned from something that was funny to something I have to be really serious about. It makes me think he will be a bad live-in partner.
Talking to him kindly and recently shouting didn’t get through bc he’s done it again. How do I get him to stop eating my honey etc? Is it a compulsion?