I was having dinner with my girlfriend of two months when she reached for her phone and started scrolling through her messages. Then, she handed it to me and said, “Look at this message my friend sent me.” On the screen was a picture of a shiny new credit card.
My girlfriend then said, “Would you mind getting me one of those?”
I was taken aback. We had just started dating and she was already asking me for a line of credit? In my mind I was thinking, “Haven’t marry already like that, I better run from this kind of woman”.
I politely declined her request, citing that it was too soon to be discussing financial matters. She seemed a bit disappointed but I reassured her that I was more than happy to discuss such things when we were both more comfortable with our relationship status.
The next day, my girlfriend asked me again for the credit card. This time, she gave me a long list of reasons why she needed it: she wanted to buy a new laptop, take a vacation with me, and purchase a few new outfits for work. I was still hesitant but she kept pushing me, saying that she would pay me back in installments.
I finally caved and agreed to get her the card. I did so reluctantly, still harbouring the thought that I was making a mistake by giving her the card. I was afraid that she would overspend or that I would be stuck with the debt if things went sour.
The next few weeks went by without incident, and my girlfriend seemed to be using the card responsibly. She was paying off her purchases each month and I was relieved to see that she was taking her debt seriously.
However, it wasn’t long before she began asking for more and more credit. She wanted to buy a new car, a new wardrobe, and a weekend getaway. Each time, she was so convincing that it was hard to say no.
I kept giving in, every time telling myself that I was doing the right thing by supporting her. But deep down, I was worried that I was enabling her to become dependent on me.
I eventually reached a breaking point. I had to make a decision: either continue to support her financially or put my foot down and risk losing the relationship. I had to be honest with myself and admit that I was afraid of commitment and I had to be honest with her about it.
So I told my girlfriend that I could no longer keep up with her demands for credit. I explained that I wanted to take things slow and that I didn’t feel comfortable with her asking for so much money.
To my surprise, she was understanding and agreed to take things more slowly. We agreed to go on a few dates without discussing money and to take time to get to know each other better.
In the end, my girlfriend and I ended up taking a break from each other. We still talk occasionally but we are not in a relationship anymore. Looking back, I’m glad that I was honest with her about my feelings and that I stood my ground. It was the best decision I could have made for myself and for our relationship.
It is much better to be honest and upfront about finances than to be taken advantage of.