My boyfriend often rejects me when I want to F
Just venting here because it’s too embarrassing to tell anyone about in real life.
Well, title says it all really. My boyfriend often turns me down and it’s pretty rare for us to do it unless he’s the one initiating.
I’ve spoken to him about it multiple times and told him how it makes me feel.
I don’t really understand what I’m doing wrong to be honest. I’ve tried different ways to initiate (subtly, touched him softly, kissed him, straight up told him i want him to f me, taking my top off etc.) and I just don’t want to do it anymore.
I genuinely question whether he even finds me attractive sometimes, which is crazy because he’s always telling me I am. I don’t think I’m unattractive? I seem to be his type and get asked out a lot (sorry, I don’t have an inflated ego I’m just confused and trying to understand). He was absolutely crazy about me at the start, constantly touching me and complimenting me. We’ve not been together for too long, 7 months. Maybe he’s bored already?
He is amazing when we f, and it’s still fairly regular (like, every other day- ish). He constantly compliments me and cuddles me and says he loves me.
I just don’t get it. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I feel like shit because I always agree when he initiates (honestly because it feels like we just won’t ever f if I don’t agree when he wants to lol). It’s so embarrassing, and I feel rejected and genuinely am dead set on never initiating again now.
Anyway, that’s all. Hope you’re all having better luck than I am in the initiating department.
EDIT : Wow, I feel like my silly little vent has really riled some people up! Just to clarify some things :
1- I exaggerated how often we f, remind me to think my words through more carefully next time. It’s one of those things where you say “a couple” but you don’t really mean 2. Nevertheless, I think we f plenty, and the point of this post isn’t at all the frequency!
2- God, the last thing I want is for my person to f me if he doesn’t actually want to!! The vent was purely because I wish I could turn him on to a point where he does want to, like he does to me. I’m sure anybody would feel insecure if every time they tried to initiate they were met with a pat on the head and a “maybe later”.
3- Yep, I definitely need therapy. I have BPD and trauma, so I think that may play a big part in my insecurity. Unfortunately I can’t afford therapy
4- I talked to my boyfriend about everything again, he did reassure me that it didn’t have anything to do with how attractive he found me and suggested that I’ve been initiating at the wrong times.
5- This vent of mine definitely doesn’t mean I want to break up!! He’s awesome, I love him, and I’d be ok with things never changing if it meant I could be with him for the rest of my life. Like I said, I was just letting out a few of my frustrations 🙂