This is a matter that got me very confused lately. My friend of mine recently expressed her frustration to me that she thought the men she dated were cheap and didn’t want to pay for her date.
She thought these men should be ashamed. However, other girls have told me that they wanted to pay their share, because “they could take care of themselves”.
There are many conflicting messages for me as a guy. On the one hand, we all want equality, and having the guy pay for dates is not equality. On the other hand, I do not mind playing the role of the guy who “sweeps a girl off her feet to take her on an adventure”, and paying for a date can be a simple act of kindness.
But once it is expected and becomes tradition, it becomes an obligation. The way I see it, the only obligation I have towards a girl I take on a date is respect and kindness. But is paying for a date part of that?
My Gf also have the same kind of mentality she always say “cause its tradition for man to pay”, I then answered her “Its tradition for woman stay at home shut up and do housework” and we got into a big argument.
Arguing equality and logic with a woman is like talking to a donkey.
Are you disappointed if I want to split the costs? And: If I say I want to split the costs, do you take it as a sign that I am disappointed in the date?
Here are what netizens think:
- For me, I think if you ask somebody out on a date, you should pay, regardless of gender. If it progresses past the first date, split the bill. I would never expect a guy to pay for dates because of some outdated rule of chivalry.
- But, on the other hand, asking someone on a date and not paying for them is like saying, ‘Hey, I like you, come and spend your money on food with me.’ You’re the one putting yourself out there, they’re taking the risk by accepting, I kind of feel that it’s bad manners for the asker not to pay. It’s not about the money, but more about the gesture. You could always just take them on a date doing something that’s free, as well
- As a female, I definitely don’t expect guys to do all the asking, and as I’ve said, I don’t expect them to pay if they don’t ask. If you’re attracted to the sort of girls that expect you to ask then expect them to think you would pay as well, or seek out different women.