I have been with my girlfriend for five years, and we know each other like the back of our hands.
Our families have hung out lots of times before, and lately we have even started talking about BTO, deciding which location is best to live in, right down to whether we should adopt a pet together.
And then recently, I noticed she was different from her usual self. She seemed withdrawn and a little cold. I remembered she asked me if I wanted kids, and I said yes. She told me that an elderly neighbour of hers couldn’t have kids, and wondered what would happen if we can’t have kids. I thought she was worrying over something very unlikely, and told her dismissively that it wouldn’t happen and even if it did, there was still adoption as an option.
And then suddenly she broke down and told me that she was recently diagnosed with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome, which means that it’ll be difficult for her to have kids. It has no cure. I was shocked. Of course, I tried to comfort her and assure her that it was okay, that it doesn’t change how I feel about her and that we would get through it somehow. It was one thing to say that there is always adoption, but another to actually consider that for real. She was relatively inconsolable, and she even selflessly suggested that she would understand if I wanted to break up with her, to which I refused.
I love her. I cannot imagine spending the rest of my life without her.
And yes, even though I have always imagined having kids of my own, I still want to be with her. Believe me, that is not something that is easy to accept right away. I had truly thought about it over and over in my head, and the final conclusion I’ve arrived is that not having her in my life hurts more than not having kids of my own. If all the medical procedures in the world cannot help us have our own children, then I would truly and gladly consider adoption, as long as I am with her.
It may take a while to convince her about the seriousness of my sincerity, but I will continue to do so and give her my fullest support until she feels my sincerity. Damn it, I’ll be the best husband the world has ever seen, because she’s that special to me.
To all the guys out there facing a similar situation to mine, I urge you to consider carefully before making a decision. Put yourself in her shoes. Would you like it if someone dump you for something you had no control over? Isn’t your love for her greater than something as trivial as passing on your genes?
Remember, there are lots of great kids out there that deserve a better home.