Should I feel guilty for allowing my bf to dote on me?
I have been together with my bf for 1+ years. He has always been the perfect gentleman to me, and we talk about having a future together.
He likes to spoil me E.g. taking me out to expensive restaurants for special occasions (almost 4 digit bill). One time, I went on a solo trip (his company had an emergency) and he upgraded my flight to first class as he felt bad for ditching me. After he got a promotion at work, he gave me a big angpao to thank me for being a supportive gf. When I had a really bad sore throat from COVID, he bought me a few jars of high grade manuka honey. When I saw the invoice I almost got a heart attack!
As I come from a relatively humble background, I am unused to such spending habits- growing up, even buying fresh milk at NTUC was considered a luxury.
I feel particularly uncomfortable as my salary is significantly lower than his and I can’t afford to reciprocate at the same level. My parents always taught me ”拿人手短，吃人嘴软” (if you spend someone else’s money, you’re indebted to them) and never accepted expensive gifts. One of my more cynical (and socialist) friends thinks he just likes showing off his bourgeoisie tastes and that he’s basically buying me like I’m a product by throwing money at me.
I’m conflicted as to how I feel about this. On the one hand, I feel very lucky to have such a doting boyfriend who would be considered a catch by many. Although he’s not super handsome by conventional standards, he is quite fit and dresses well. He also has a great sense of humour and is very popular with colleagues and friends. I think he would make a great father to our future children. I can’t lie and say that i don’t enjoy being pampered once in a while, and I also can’t fault him for his spending habits as he has more than enough savings and revenue streams for a financially comfortable future. However, I also can’t get rid of the nagging sense of guilt at the back of my mind everytime he splurges on me, especially given our vast contrast in earning power. Is it problematic for me to continue accepting his gifts while giving much less in return?