I have gone on 2 dates with a guy whom I met on a dating app and I’m not sure if I should continue going out with him.
We are of the same age and can click reasonably well, and share some similar interests. However 2 aspects of him bother me.
Firstly – he doesn’t behave as is expected of a gentleman. For instance, he doesn’t hold open the door for me, pull out the chair for me at the restaurant and say ‘please’ or ‘thank you’ to the waitresses. On the second date, I brought a big-sized item but he did not offer to help me carry it at least.
Secondly – he tends to speak too much Singlish while I’m more comfortable sticking to the correct form of English / Chinese I’m using. I am a bit surprised as he holds a masters degree and works in a reputable firm. I don’t know if I’m fussy but I was brought up in a family that emphasizes a lot on courtesy and presentation of oneself.
He has asked me for a third date and I’m not sure how to reply to him. Given that I don’t know him that well yet, is it bad that I point out these issues straight up to him?
Here are what netizens think:
- Right… The thankless waitress bit does raise an eyebrow on courtesy, but as for yourself… You looking to date a class act is it? Gentlemanly gestures like those are not an obligation, but a bonus, when you consider the typical culture of our nation.That said, the lack of gentlemanly actions are simply things to frown upon if they don’t meet your standards on what makes a man. You’re only dating now, he’s free to be himself, and so are you.Red flags are such an easy word to overuse. If you’ve already dated or started dating and his attitude suddenly changes to this, then that, is an actual red flag. Because nobody just loses their manners or upbringing in an instant and without reason.
- Pull chair and open door? Does the guy need to call you your royal highness too?
- Think twice what is so special about you yourself.
- I used to work in a UK company, my boss asked “why it is when you speak to me, you speak proper english, but when the few of you (singaporean) together i couldn’t understand a single word even i know it is english. there is nothing wrong in speaking singlish with friends and family, i too have master. in workplace when we speak with clients, supervisor, doing presentation we used proper english. If you look down on him no point in going further, just stay silent and he will get the message
- Oi! Ah girl ah, why you boh suka limpeh talking singlish leh? We are Singapore lang and should embrace our culture mah.And oso why beh tahan limpeh no move chair or is open door huh? This is 2022 lah. Woman can open own door mah. So picky one you. Aiyah, limpeh 看错了 you. So beh gum one. 算了! Limpeh not taking you out again. 算 limpeh pai mia to meet you. So sway one.