My daughter found out I am actually her mom after thinking I am her sister her whole life
I (f29) got pregnant at 16, I wanted to keep and raise my baby so badly but realized both my baby and I deserved better.
So my parents decided to adopt my daughter and raise her as their own considering they were very much more financially stable than me at 16.
I was able to graduate and become financially stable and just make a life for myself.
I now live away from my daughter and parents I visit most weekends and holidays just because I want to see my daughter grow up and know her.
Yesterday was my daughter’s 13th birthday and so I decided to take a few days off of work so I could celebrate with her and spend some extra time with her.
I decided to take her shopping as her birthday present so she could buy what she wants. It went well we had fun.
Afterward, we were in the car and she asked if I had any spare change for ice cream and I told her it was in my purse.
Well, I keep a picture of when my daughter was born and me holding her just as motivation. My daughter found it and was confused asking when did I have a baby.
Then she looked at the back and realized her name was written back there.
Safe to say she freaked out and has not talked to me or my parents since. I honestly feel horrible I know she feels so hurt and confused.
Netizens’ comments
- Do not distance yourself. Reach out to her like you typically do. If she wants space, then give her that. But don’t be the first one to stop reaching out.
Ignore the comments who are blaming you for “keeping it a secret”. It’s easy to know exactly what to do at a given moment when you are not currently in that moment.
Just continue to be there for her. - This is a completely natural response, the life she’s grown to understand has just been turned upside down. The best thing to do right now is let her feel what she needs to feel, let her understand and come to terms with what she’s found out, and once she’s had that time and has figured out what she wants to happen, then would be the best time to try and talk to her.
It’s also important that you don’t blame yourself. You did what was best for both you and your daughter, and that takes a lot of courage for a 16 year old. This time was going to come at some point, it’s just unfortunate that it has happened the way that it has.
Wishing you both the best. - I was in your daughter’s position. I was 10-11 when I found out my sister was actually my bio mom, and my parents were my grandparents. Give her space, its information that is life changing. From my experience, when she does start asking questions, be 100% honest from the start, or as much as you can be to your knowledge. A lot surrounding my adoption was lies and half truths. It’s been almost 20 ye, rs and it took a long time to actually trust people and not feel like I was worthless or a mistake that people were forced to take on. Give her space, be honest when she does start asking questions, and if she’s mad/upset, let her and don’t undervalue her emotions. Good luck.