19F best friend of 5 years had a hookup and expects me 19M best friend to be involved if pregnancy arrises
For context, my best friend who is a girl recently had a hookup for the first time. She told me all about it as we are honest with each other and have been friends for roughly 5-6 years.
We are not romantically involved, nor have we ever been up to this point. I will say that we both have deep feelings for each other & could see that down the road. But what she told me earlier has me genuinely speechless.
She is afraid she might get pregnant from the experience. Nonetheless, she told me that “we could raise the baby together” if she does become pregnant, in fact. She told me I would be a “good father.”
I am genuinely pretty open, and try not to judge…but I cannot wrap my head around this one. I have not said anything because I feel as if she is trying to make sense of the situation herself.
She used me as an excuse to see this guy (who she barely knows) several times to her parents (who trust me.) I confronted her about this, and she finally told them the truth about this guy. They were understanding but didn’t appreciate her lie about me.
Now with this, considering I’m not involved, I’m not too stressed. I’m left feeling deserted and used? You don’t treat friends that way anyway. Definitely not someone you think “highly of.” I guess that would be the best way to describe the feeling.
I’m not mad about her exploring or having relations with other guys either. I just hate feeling like our deep friendship, to her, is always a “backup” plan if all other relationships fail for her.
If she cares about me to see me in that role in her future, this is a poor way of showing it. I have been there for her during challenging times, but I could not be apart of a potential child’s life (that is not mine) and immediately step into a boyfriend/husband/father role for the consequence of her actions.
I don’t want to ruin our friendship and I do think highly of her. But a situation like this would ruin or dim any prospects of me being with her romantically when we are older.
I just don’t know why she would even say that? We are 19 years old and have a whole life ahead of us. I have dreams and goals, so does she. None of that involves a child right now. Especially not the expectation I would be involved if her “baby daddy” would probably not be.
She has morals that differ from mine and will not terminate the pregnancy if she does in fact become pregnant. Totally fine. But I don’t see how she thinks I would do that and be some sort of hero guy for her. I am a good person, but I will not ruin the rest of my life for something I 100% had no part to play in.