I let myself be absolutely degraded for alot of money, now I hate myself and can t look in the mirror.
First of all, I’m a prostitute, I’m ok-ish with that. But there s this guy, who comes once every 2-3 month, and enjoys humiliating me. Trash talking me. He pays alot of money for that, and he didn’t really push the limits. It was worth it.
But this time he wanted to come with multiple guys and share me. As I offer that as a service, I accepted, because, again, those guys paid me almost as much as I earned in 1 month.
But this time it was different. They made me talk about my rough childhood, about my perverted family, and pressed where they saw it hurt. When I said it s enough they just offered more money. At one point I cried in humiliation and it turned them on.
I m crying, shaking, and feel worthless on the memories of that day.
Netizens’ comments
- Hey, I know this is tough and I’m sorry. You work a very difficult job that doesn’t have nearly the security/safety that it should.
You can lie to your clients. You don’t have to tell them anything truthful about your past no matter how much money they give you. You can make up different tragic stories or tell them that you just love being humiliated because you deserve it. Say whatever it is you need to keep yourself safe.
I have never done your type of work but I have lied to customers in my customer service job to stay safe. I’ve lied about my age, my cultural background, life experiences I’ve had, education, where I live, family, my name. Almost everything. It doesn’t matter if they are repeat clients. Just do what you need to keep yourself safe. - Use some of the money to sit with a therapist and work it out
- that’s awful and terrible. I would say you need to set boundaries, like even if you’re a prostitute you deserve respect and that if these boundaries are ever broken during service it ends there. I’d probably recommend seeing a therapist and maybe banning that customer since it’s not gonna be healthy to your mental health
- Don’t let it consume you. Forget about them and don’t see that client again. No amount of money is worth your dignity, pride and respect. No matter what path in life you take, you’re still a human being and that type of shit is unacceptable. They totally took you down a dark dark road and got amused by it and THATS NOT OK. Now you’re left hurt and humiliated and they feel no type of sympathy. It may be tough now but you’ll heal from this and know to never put yourself in that situation again with that person and everyone he’s associated with. Take that money and move on. You got this