I (21M) feel uncomfortable with how my partner (21F) dresses
Iv been dating my partner for about a year and a half, I consider her the love of my life. Our relationship has been filled with love and support and the communication has always been great.
Recently however, Iv found it hard to express how her fashion choices make me feel and I’m worried I’ll come off as controlling and possessive if I do try to explain my thoughts. It’s important to note she’s had a constrictive ex in the past and is very defensive (rightfully) when it comes to controlling behaviour.
She has never been one to wear a bra, this is her choice and I completely understand this and would never force her to wear something she doesn’t want too. Recently she’s been buying and wearing tops that are sheer and crochet tops that have holes scattered, in both cases making her nips visible. For the last two months it’s been only a mix of these types of shirts when we go out, at partys, and so on.
I still find it hard to put into words why it bothers me so much even while I question it daily, but it does Sometimes get to me. I find that it hurts like she’s cheating or breaking a big part of my trust. It really shakes me that any person can see such a personal part of her on a whim and I find myself avoiding making group plans with friends and her to avoid that.
She is aware that how she dresses makes me uncomfortable as in the past Iv brought it up once. She got very emotional and I didn’t get to express my feelings on it before she shut down the conversation.
This time I plan on trying to get my thoughts out in a clear manner and venting it all. After I would ask her to possibly wear bras with these types of tops, offering to buy her nips covers or better bras, and trying to find the words to make my point seem more personal then controlling but I’m still lost on how I will. My worst fear is that this will be something that ends the relationship like a incompatibility issue. I love her so much and our relationship means so much for then what we wear, I don’t want too regret anything but I just feel lost with my emotions.
I apologize for the rant Iv just needed to write it all down, I’d appreciate any opinions on how I should best move forward with this as I’m pretty anxious about it all.