Dating in singapore is expensive but from a GIRL’s POV
Hello, I would like to hear more opinions from women about the recent discussion on dating.
I have been in two relationships in the past. My first relationship was during University(both of us were students), and we split the bills equally from our first date until we broke up.
As it was my first serious relationship, I did not have any expectations and assumed splitting the bills was the norm.
However, when I initiated the breakup, my partner thought that I ended things because he didn’t offer to pay for things for me, which was not the case.
With this experience in mind, I entered my second relationship when we both started working. For the first few dates, we took turns paying for each other, but after a few months, he started using excuses like “I need to save money for us to buy a house in the future” to avoid paying.
In the last few months of our relationship, I ended up paying for almost everything, including groceries and other expenses. (This was not the reason why we broke up, however, i was quite concerned about my spendings)
Regarding the previous discussion, I was surprised to find out that most guys pay for their dates all the time, even after being in a relationship. So, I would like to hear more perspectives from women on how they handle splitting bills in a relationship.
Honestly, relationships need to work on an equal basis. Both parties are equal in the relationship, and that means there should be some degree of financial separation between the two of you. Both can contribute a portion of what they earn to a common pool for dating activities and/or trips, but there really should not be a situation where either of you feel like you are paying for the other like you are their sugar daddy/mummy.
If one is less financially well-off compared to the other, there also needs to be some amount of transparency in the relationship as to what you can or cannot afford. If the guy/girl wants to go to expensive date options, and the other party cannot afford it, then there needs to be a talk about how they feel about you paying and/or whether another option is possible.
Half of the issues present in relationship happens because people don’t communicate properly, and/or try to hide their emotions. If you are trying to find a lifelong partner, there needs to be more communication then basic niceties and surface-level talk.
However, if you date very casually, then whatever I said above doesn’t apply. Just make it clear to the other party that you are treating this casually, and don’t lead the other party on into thinking it is something more than that if you don’t mean it.