I’ll try to keep this as short as possible. 8 months ago I (22f) met my boyfriend (32m) and we hit it off instantly.
The age gap was definitely intimidating at first since the oldest I dated was 26, however, since we had a lot in common I was able to look past it.
After a little over a month he asked me to be his girlfriend and while I said no at first, I (hesitantly) agreed later.
Honestly, looking back at it now he is very persistent and does not ever take no for an answer. Fast forward to today, we’ve been together for nearly 7 months.
However, since then we’ve had way more downs than ups in our relationship. This is my first proper relationship and I’m also a virgin (which he knows) because I want to save it for someone special.
I’ve had flings in the past who were super persistent but I’ve always kept true to myself. I want to do it with someone who I genuinely love and see a future with (not him).
My friends have a theory that he won’t allow me to break up with him because he still hasn’t slept with me. I don’t know how true this is.
Unfortunately, I realised quickly in the last few months he’s not someone I see a future with. I’ve tried to break up with him 3 times over the space of 2 months and every time I say it he immediately shuts me down, calls me annoying and argues I say things on purpose to get on his nerves.
I’m sick and tired of this relationship and we argue all the time. I don’t even know why he thinks it’s healthy when we argue 95% of the time.
Every time I bring this up as a reason to break up he says that we don’t have issues and that everything is perfect between us. I don’t know if he’s in denial or if he’s just trying to make me stay with him.
I’m so miserable because I don’t know what to do anymore. I’ve stopped going out and don’t respond to any of my friends.
I mentioned that I need space recently and he got annoyed and said I do this way too often. I don’t want to be with him anymore.
The way he dismisses everything I say makes me feel silenced.
When I tried to break up with him on the phone he literally said that I can’t do that and that I have no choice in the matter.
My friends keep telling me to break things off and are complaining that I’m still with him, saying that I’m leading him on and I have no backbone.
I’m genuinely terrified of him because he doesn’t seem to want to let me go and I’ve had nightmares that I was forced to stay with him until I’m old (I can’t even escape him in my fucking dreams).
He tried to find my address recently since he doesn’t have it (my parents would have a heart attack if they knew I’m seeing someone who’s 32) but I’m keeping that away from him since he said if I ever ignore his message he would come to my house personally.
I don’t know what to do. I feel like I’m losing myself each day I’m in this relationship. I honestly wish I never met him. I feel like my life is out of my control.