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Wednesday, September 27, 2023


Just broke up with my fiance whom I share a joint account with. Am I the Ahole for asking for 100% of the money in our joint account because I think he should compensate me for my time wasted on him?


I have been dating my fiance for 3 years and we have been working for 2 years since graduating. He proposed to me last december and since then, I have been asking him to plan for our wedding, which I would prefer to be held as soon as possible because I am tired of working and want to be a housewife.

He told me he would prefer to have the wedding next year because he needs some time to plan the wedding but I want it to be held preferably by end of this year. Since he has agreed to stay at my parents’ house after marriage then there shouldn’t be any issues at all.

I just cannot understand why he wants to wait until next year to have the wedding because actually I was asking for a very simple wedding. I only wanted to invite our friends and relatives to a dinner at a mid-tier hotel like Pan Pacific and to get very affordable wedding bands like Cartier. He certainly can afford them because he has $30k in his personal savings account and he earns $5k a month.

I’m not even asking for much because I know there are way more expensive places to hold a banquet and way more high-end jewellery brands to get wedding bands from. But he thinks that the wedding bands and hotels I chose are too extravagant even though I have offered to help him pay 20% of all expenses. Because of all these issues, we quarrelled a lot and eventually I decided to break up with him because I realise he’s a very selfish person who doesn’t even care about what I want at all. Even the engagement ring he got for me was a small 0.9 carat which cost only $9k although I have specifically told him that I wanted a 1.5 carat.


Now that we have broken up, we are in the midst of discussing how to split our joint account money and he said he will give me half of the money inside, which is only $10k. His excuse for giving me only half of the money is that he was the only one contributing to the joint account. He did contributed to 100% of the joint account but I was the one who encouraged him to save up. Whenever he wanted to buy useless things like Nintendo Switch, I stopped him from buying them. Without me, he wouldn’t even have savings at all. Moreover, I wasted 3 years of my life on him so I think I deserve more than $10k. Honestly, even if he gives me all the money, which is merely $20k, I still don’t think it’s enough to compensate for the 3 years. But he seems reluctant to give me 100% of the money and kept giving me all sorts of lame excuses. Should I continue to ask for $20k or should I just settle for $10k? I’m so tired of fighting over this.

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