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Thursday, June 8, 2023


Do you wonder how your ex is doing?


Do you sometimes wonder how your ex is doing?

I mean I’m happily married and happy with my current life. But someone I wonder how is my ex doing. I won’t intentionally seek him out and talk to him as that’s not what I want as I also think it’s best to leave things in the past.

I was with my bf for a year. Throughout the entire time I know he has some family issues because of his parents. Sometime he skips school for days because he has to help his mother or something happened to his dad. I had a fairly secure childhood so I know I am more sheltered compared to him and may not be able to fully understand the stress he feels at home. I do try to be supportive but he doesn’t really want to talk about it much.

Once he went missing for almost a week and skipped school. He did respond to me but only after long hours. I was oblivious even though I asked as he didn’t tell me much until it’s over. He said they were trapped at home for days because of loan sharks and they moved out in the middle of the night. He didn’t want me to worry so he kept conversations to a minimum that time. I was horrified for him but glad to know they have since resolved the issue. He said he found a solution together with his siblings. I also found out this is not the first time they suddenly moved house.


Not long after that his dad had a vehicle accident. He didn’t tell me until his father was discharged from the hospital. He went missing on and off during that time too. I wished he told me so I could have at least supported him.

Come Christmas week, we finally had some time to meet as he’s been so busy working part time after school hours. I had visited his workplace just to see him on days when I miss him but he discouraged me once exams were near.

He finally told me he wants to break up. He said he doesn’t want to brag me into his life. He also thinks I will no longer be my happy self should I continue to be with him. It was then he revealed more of his family issues to me. He’s been working for someone who pays better. As he needed the money to pay back his family debts he continued the job even though it was not a decent one. He didn’t want me to be tainted by any of this so he felt it’s best that we end things. He said he can imagine me living a happy life with someone else and he definitely won’t be able to give me any of that because of his family.

As he left me, I cried and cried. I couldn’t understand why he chose to keep these a secret from me. I couldn’t eat or sleep for a few days and I felt something inside me literally died. By the time I tried to ingest food, I remembered I vomited repeatedly. It took me a while to recover enough to go through the daily motions of life. Our friends didn’t know about his family situation so I had no one for support. I didn’t tell my family either. Everyone just thought he got tired of me and dumped me.

Eventually I let go and moved on from what happened. I guess I was a wreak then and combined with my poor judgement, ended up with a narcissistic stalker. Even though it was short lived, it traumatised me for a year. After that I was angry with myself, I was angry about everything for quite a while.


It took me another period of peace before I met my husband who I’ve been with for the last 15 years. To live a peaceful life is truly a bliss. I’m grateful to end up with my husband.

I’ve not heard from my ex since he left me. I don’t know if he’s left the country, started a family or anything. I do hope he pulled through and that he’s happy today. After all, he was a kid stuck in an awful situation. Looking back, I respect his maturity for stepping up to help his parents.

A few times over the years when his birthday gets near I will be reminded of him and wonder how he is.

Happy birthday, O. You’ve probably long forgotten about me. Wherever you are, I wish that you’re happy.

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