GIRL’S BF KEEPS CALLING HER MUM WHEN THEY GET INTO A FIGHT & COMPLAIN TO HER

My 19 F boyfriend 21M keeps calling my mom when we argue

I need some opinions on this. My boyfriend and I have been dating for some time over a year. Every time my boyfriend and I have a falling out he calls my mom and try to get her on his side or in his words “ tell her what happened “ .

Yesterday during the middle of an argument he called and told her to pick me up. My mom thought she gave him the message to stop calling her unless its an emergency the last time he kept calling her, but he still does it.

I think it’s strange. I dont know what has made him so comfortable to do this.

Netizens’ comments

1. If she’s told him to stop, and he’s not listening, it is time to break up with him. From your perspective, he should be able to resolve issues with you; he’s not in a relationship with your mom, after all.
2. Yeah, that is VERY strange. What is he, your dad? Is he going to get together with her and make parenting decisions? Super weird, super out of line, very very sketchy.
3. This isn’t a man. This is a little boy. You’re both still very immature. End it and focus on yourself. You’ll both get the life experience you need apart.
4. This is what sociopaths do to turn people you love against you and to build evidence that you’re a problem. Then he will give you a fake apology and say something like ” what was I supposed to do? You left me no choice!” Trauma bonding bs please leave this person. I wish I left when I was 19! It will only get worse.
5. Honestly not even sure how to answer this besides you need a new boyfriend lol. If my fiance or I called the others parent during an argument, either set of parents would be flabbergasted.
   It kind of seems like he is trying to use your mom against you? But even if he isn’t in his head, this is very odd behavior, almost like he considers you to be a child and going to your parent is how he will get you to behave?
6. This is extremely strange behavior. Hell, it would be strange behavior even if your mom were encouraging it. The fact that she’s uncomfortable with it too yet he refuses to stop is a pretty big red flag; he’s repeatedly doing something that you and your mother both want him to stop doing, and he’s ignoring your requests.
   As to WHY he’s doing it, that’s harder to answer but luckily it doesn’t really make a difference. Regardless of his motivations it’s still inappropriate and unwanted behavior that he seems unwilling to stop, and so no matter what the “why” is it’s still a problem.
   If I had to guess I’d say that he’s infantilizing you a bit, acting like you’re too young to make proper decisions (i.e. agreeing with him on everything) and so he calls your parents to have someone in a position of presumed authority over you put you in your place. If that sounds wildly offensive, that’s because it is.