I (22m) and my partner (27m) have been dating for 2 1/2 years. We have lived together for 2.
We met on tinder quite quickly. I had downloaded it after I ended things with my ex-bf and he was one of my first few matches.
He is kind, and generous, and I like to think we compliment each other. I take things pretty seriously while he’s pretty laid back.
When we first started dating, I asked him to delete tinder. He told me no, he wouldn’t. I assumed that this was because our relationship was still new and that I was asking for too much too quickly.
After some time, I talked about how it makes me uncomfortable that he updates his tinder so often, and he repeatedly tells me he won’t delete it. He needs to be able to “maintain his online image “.
Okay, I can accept that but updating photos every now and again? He changes his bio and is still putting out signals that he’s single. I talk to him again, he says it’s not a big deal. He just keeps it to talk to friends he’s made on the app. I drop it, and forget about it.
We’ve had that fight several times. Last time he edited it, it said “looking for love”. This time when he edited it, he was talking about wanting to have kids in the future. Maybe I shouldn’t have looked, he said it’s “invading his privacy” in the past. I did it while he was gone, and I waited for him to come home.
As soon as he walked in the door I cut him off and told him “I saw your tinder”. We sat down and talked after I cried a bit. He said it wasn’t a big deal, he just goes on there to swipe and see who was interested in him and they just send a few messages back and forth.
He mentions that he doesn’t even have the time to do anything with anyone else, and that he had over 200 matches when we first met. We fought some more, and I asked him to at least take the bio down. He said he would. That was last night, and he hasn’t yet.
I do not have concrete evidence that he is cheating but shouldn’t he not be letting people think that he is still single?
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