My parents are looking at me as a retirement plan. They keep saying that they are waiting for me to work then they will retire and rely on me fully. They don’t have much savings, due to bad spending habits(involved in mlm, buy toto) and this resulted in stress for me. They are self-employed hence not much money in cpf too.
I have been paying for my own education since poly and groceries that I need, in case you all are wondering how I took so much money from them and didnt return the favour.
I would like to help out w bills and such, but I’m not like earning 10k straight out of sch so supporting them fully will be out of the qn. I wanted to help w bills and groceries and maybe give them a small allowance but how to draw the line?? I’m afraid that once I start helping out financially, they will really expect everything, like not just bills. They are alrdy telling me to leave a room for them in my future house so I can take care of them fully, but I really have no such plans since I’m intending to start a family of my own. Currently, they are still healthy though, just tired of working. I suggested that they would have enough pocket money once I move out, since they can rent out my room, but they are not happy with still needing to work.
I’m stressing out rn and would like some advice on what to do. Somehow I’m so envious of my friends, whose parents have their savings and not raise children to be their retirement plans.
Btw I do have an older brother but he cut contact after moving out, so somehow I became their last resort, and I resent him for that. If our parents ever need help w medical bills or need payment for nursing homes in future, are there legal means to push him to pay his portion?? It is really unfair for me to shoulder everything myself. He didnt give any allowance or pay the bills even though he was alrdy working when living w us.
Here are what netizens think:
- Ur bro should share the responsibility with you. At the same time, u need to have a talk with ur parents that ur need to save up for ur future. Dont they want you to get married, have a family of ur own and have a house of ur own. They need to stop wasting money on 4ds n stuffs n save up instead no matter how much.
- There might be 1,000,001 advices, comments or conspiracy theories on this one. There is a saying in Chinese “船到桥头自然直“, it just means things unfold and will come good in its own time. No point dwelling on this too-far-away-future issue now, and let it affect your present. You just have to look inwards within yourself what does family means to you, and how much you can or are willing to do for them. As long as you have done your best, then be it. That might give you a different answer. All best.
- Give them money by topping up their CPF. Pay bills only. No allowance. Once they get that, they will build up a habit to rely on you for that allowance.
- Can consider to Share some insurance premium with bro to rely on insurance for parents at old age which then transfer the financial risk to the insurance company.