My boyfriend told me “that’s life” when I informed him that my grandma’s dying and I won’t get to say goodbye
I live away from my family overseas, and I recently found out that my grandma is in the hospital. Today I was updated and found out that she developed pneumonia and was put into an induced coma. Her condition is critical, and it seems unlikely that she’ll make it.
I haven’t seen her in months, because I, and don’t have enough money to visit frequently, so I won’t be able to see her.
What hurts the most is that I wanted to call her, but I didn’t get the chance to before the coma, so if she dies, I don’t know how I could forgive myself for not saying goodbye and telling her how much I love her.
As I’m telling my boyfriend this, he was coming down from having a great day. Rather than comfort me, he tells me “that’s life”. He’s never lost a loved one, so he can’t relate. I’ve lost my dad, aunts, cousin… So I understand full well “that’s life.”
I become obviously more upset at this, and he just walks away.
I’m so frustrated and sad, and I feel so alone in this.
Netizens’ comments
- Call her and have someone hold the phone up to her ear. Tell her you love her and whatever else you need to say. People in comas do hear things. I know because I’ve been in a coma. I heard things I wasn’t supposed to hear.
- Sounds like he’s emotionally closed and doesn’t know what to say. I’d sit down with him and have a chat about it. Maybe he’s been in a similar situation?
- Just because you haven’t lost anyone you love is no reason to act cold and be a d@#k
- I know this sounds like a cop out but this is unfortunately a very common type of response from men. And I think most people don’t even realize how engrained it is into young mens and boys brains that having emotions is not good and is a sign of a weak man. It’s entirely possible he’s just been essentially brain washed into reacting to situations to be a “stoic man” because he thinks it would show weakness. I think maybe if you had a talk with him it could help show him it’s okay to show some kind of vulnerability maybe.
- I’m so sorry about your grandmother. I know there’s been research on coma patients and they know some can hear or sense things even in a coma. Would it be possible for a family member to hold a phone to her ear and let you tell her how much you love her and miss her and how much she means to you?