A netizen shared how her mother used to ignore her cries when he was a baby and crying for food.
Here is the story:
“I always knew my mother was neglectful as far back as I can remember probably 4 years old is the clearest memory.
all my primary school young childhood memories involve making my own lunch, doing my own laundry, heating up frozen dinners in the microwave and begging my mom to play with me while she laid in her room for seemingly months on end. (Dad was absent workaholic, now dead)
There were times that she showed interest in me, but they were sparing and didn’t last. Anyway I STRUGGLED with self esteem, self worth etc. growing up.
I was an easy target for the older kids and I got in a lot of trouble in my teen years “acting out” because I just despised myself.
This led my mom to label me a “problem” and or “bad” child. Thank god I had an older sister in the house until I was 12 that helped me with basic needs.
Anyway fast forward therapy, therapy, more therapy I fixed my life and self worth issues, I am married to a wonderful husband and have the BEST toddler in the whole world, he is my life.
I also have a really successful career but I have days I just feel “flat” and still suffer from imposter syndrome, like I don’t really deserve my good life now.
My mom and I still speak and she has admitted/apologized to most of the neglect, but the other day I was on the phone with her and my toddler was saying “Mama, Mama, Mama” and started crying at one point so I said I needed to end the call to attend to his needs.
She said and I quote “Just ignore him, that is what I did with you kids. People used to comment on how I would always ignore you kids crying out for help but I couldn’t take all the “Mom Mom Mom” so I just tuned you out and ignored you, and because of this you are independent and strong”.
Like WTTTTTTTTTF my son is 14 months old for context he had a legitimate need, he was hungry it turned out.
I asked my mom is she did this when I was a toddler/infant and she said yes proudly.
As a mother I cannot fathom any of this. So cruel. As a daughter I now understand why despite all the work I have done on myself I still feel empty and unlovable most of the time.
It just hurt to hear that the neglect went back to when I was literally a helpless infant. I feel like it is scorched into the fabric of my being.
I will be better, and I will do better for my son. Just had to get this off my chest.”