So my GF and I have dated for just barely 3 years. She has met my immediate family and but she has never met my extended family.
So we have a tradition where once a month my grandmother hosts a Sunday dinner for the entire family at her home. We all show up and if you’re old enough to use a stove you cook.
My girlfriend has never attended until very recently, the first time she did was in December prior to Christmas. This is because my grandmother would prefer to not have non family and partners that haven’t been around for a while present.
When she attended in December, I got word that my grandmother didn’t approve of her choice of clothing and won’t welcome her back if she doesn’t dress better. My aunt told me that grandma thought she dressed, “whorish”. Now I fully disagree and so did my family and my aunt. My girlfriend was admittedly dressed slightly less conservative than the other women but I wouldn’t call what she was wearing immodest at all.
So I told my girlfriend and asked her if she would dress more conservatively next time. So come January the dinner is this Sunday. I wanted to not have a repeat of what happened last time as I want her to get FaceTime with my family.
I asked my girlfriend to show me her dress before this weekends. She did and the dress was less conservative. Again, it wasn’t immodest, but just less conservative and I know it’d piss my grandmother off again. She said no as she really liked the dress and it was modest. I told her that what’s modest to her isn’t going to be what’s modest to a 89-year-old woman. I told her if she wanted to buy a dress I’d pay for it.
She refused. After some arguing, she proved that she was not going to budge. I told her that I’d she didn’t change it would be better if she just not show up and we try to find a solution for next month. She then said she wasn’t getting a different dress and I told her that it’s best she not come and I’d go without her.
She told me I was being unreasonable and putting an old woman’s outdated views over her freedom. I feel like I was being very reasonable.
There is this saying, both sides of my palm is my flesh. whichever side i got pinched is gonna hurt.
What should I do?