My girlfriend recently got close to this colleague at work and in my opinion she spends too much time with him.
They initially started going out for dinner together 1 on 1 ( I was fine with it as she informed me about it beforehand and didn’t hide it from me).
Subsequently, the colleague started to send her back home on an almost daily basis though he really stays out of the way. It seems that they are getting closer together while my relationship with her is drifting apart; he even went over her house to jog with her 2 weeks ago wtf? I openly expressed my disapproval of her colleague many times and told my girlfriend that he has ulterior motives. She insisted there was nothing between them and they were just friends. She then accused me of lacking trust in our relationship and we ended fighting a few times because of this issue.
A few days ago, while we were together at her house I was so insecure that I stalked her phone while she was bathing (I know it is wrong, but I really had to find out what was happening between them), and found out that she was planning a trip with him to Bali together in December?! And in their chat there were several romantic exchanges, some bordering on the kinky side. I didn’t know what to make of it at that point of time; were they just merely joking/toying with each other or what? I was so upset that I cried and left her house immediately, citing that I had urgent work to attend to.
Till now I have not confronted her about this as I don’t want to start a big fight again. I 100% certain that colleague of hers is hitting on her and I don’t believe she is oblivious to this. I really love her a lot (we have been together for 7 years) and I don’t want to lose her at all, but the red flags are so obvious.
I am having sleepless nights and crying alone a few times a day because of this, help me.