So, I caught up with a friend over dinner yesterday. He shared with me about matching with this girl on CMB.
Three dates in, she dropped a bombshell on him that she’s divorced with a 4-year old child. He was devastated, angry and felt frustrated. He then told me that he ghosted her after finding out about the divorce and the kid.
This got me thinking… if you were single (never married before), would you date/marry a single parent? Why or why not?
While I would be open to it, I know that my family will not accept it.
- That’s thought provoking, what’s the expectation here?
Must I love both the lady and the child, or could I just tolerate the presence ? I mean this could be a large thing to ask for the guy during the dating phase (maybe that’s why your friend is angry)
I’ll think all single parents deserve their chances of happiness, but in reality, most people just try to avoid this. The kids didn’t choose this, but this is the reality of life.
- IMO 3 dates is pretty late to reveal heavy information like this
- Nope, I don’t even want children of my own, much less others’ children. But it depends on every individual and what they are looking for in a relationship. Even if I’m not expected to look after them, the kids will play a big role in the lifestyle (travel, day to day restrictions, living together etc).
- Your friend’s response (anger, ghosting) speaks volumes about his humanity and character. He’s not interviewing her for a job (and trust me, mums in general have it very difficult there as well). He’s merely in the process of getting to know someone.
If you ask me, that single mum dodged a major bullet. I feel for her, getting ignored with no explanation.
Even in working life, some women avoid mentioning they’re a mum because others will form a bias against them. Let alone putting this info on a dating profile – that’s just asking for immediate judgment. I’m not surprised she omitted this information. This woman already has her cards in life massively stacked against her.
Your friend could have taken this opportunity to learn more about her life story to understand her choices/ difficulties a little better, before gently explaining to her that he can’t move forward with the relationship because dating a divorcee with kids is not something he’s looking for. That’s perfectly fine and if the lady has integrity as well, she will respect his view.
This guy really failed to respond in a mature manner. If he’s not prepared to deal with disappointing dates like an adult, then he really should work on himself first.