Found out my friends introduced me to my girlfriend as joke, they’ve all slept with her before. I’m incredibly shocked and don’t know what to do
I’ve (22) been with my girlfriend (22) for 4 years now, and it’s been the greatest 4 years of my life. She’s the sweetest person I’ve ever met. She’s hilarious, insanely creative (she’s an artist), goofy and just the happiest girl you’ll ever meet. She’s always smiling and very out going, she’s so energized & I’ll admit it’s sometimes hard to catch up with all her adventures. But wow, it’s been so amazing being with her. My friends introduced me to her when we all graduated from school, and we immediately bonded. We’re both into comics, anime, marvel/DC, dungeons and dragons – we had so much in common, we just because super close very quickly. The fact we had so much in common made it easy for us to spend time together, going to conventions, anime events, game tournaments, superhero films – this all of course led to us officially becoming a couple, and the rest is history. My parents also are in love with her, which is honestly the cherry on top. It’s nice to see my be so welcoming towards my girlfriend, although they’ve gotten a little protective towards her like parents lol.
I plan to propose to my girlfriend later this year, as we always joke about getting married, having a weird geeky wedding & starting a family – and I really want that so much, so proposing to her is my main goal of 2022. Fingers crossed she says yes! I really hope so.
Now this is where my friends come in. I have 3 close friends of mine, friends I grew up with. We all split up a few months after school, they left to further their studies so right now we all either just talk through zoom chat or I go visit them once in a while. I decided to be close to family and my girlfriend. Well I told my friends that I plan to propose to ashley, that I’m believe I’m 100% ready to start a family with her & how excited I am to see how it goes. They kept asking if was serious, even calling me a dumbass. They really were going at it with me, quite roughly. I just figured they hated the idea of marriage, so I ignored their comments. That’s when they told me the truth, and holy crap the proof they had made it even worse.
They all said they met my girlfriend 8 years ago at midnight bowling, they met her through a friend of theirs that invited her that night. I don’t know this other friend at all, so I can’t say who it is. That’s how they all met, they thought she was hot and cool so they stayed in contact with her. After that my friends still continued hanging out with my girlfriend, playing video games, anime – and of course, bedroom activities. They told me they’ll “pass her around the group” for fun, and that’s practically why they were friends with her. They kept using the word slut, which crawled into my skin in such a negative way. So pretty much they just kept my girlfriend around for intercourse, all 3 of my close friends have slept her plenty of times.
This lasted a good portion of school, but of course I didn’t know my girlfriend at this time cause she attended another school. They decided they’ll introduce her to me because they wanted to see if I can also “get lucky”, that it was all a joke to see if I can also end up sleeping with her. I didn’t believe any of it, but my heart completely shattered when they showed proof from instgram messages. It was nothing inappropriate like pics or anything, they just showed me that they all indeed keep in contact with her in the past.
And you know what they did? They made me the “dumb guy” and made all this a joke. They said I’m a dumbass for dating her, that I should’ve known better. They didn’t expect me to date her at all, that my girlfriend was going to act “slutty” towards but they were surprised she didn’t. How the hell am I suppose to have known better? Friends introducing friends to a boy/girl is a normal thing, that’s how i interpreted all of this. Also I had no idea about their history with my girlfriend, so them saying “I should’ve known better” is ridiculous. I didn’t see my girlfriend as an object like them, I saw her a friend that I ended up falling in love with. She treated me very kindly, comforted me whenever I was sad, told me how much she loved me – we fell for each other, It wasn’t just intercourse. The only reason my friends told me this was because they think me getting married to her is “too far”, so they expected me knowing the truth would lead to me dumping her. “She’s too much of a slut man, just let her go” one of my friends said. I just got off the chat, and they’ve been sending me non-stop texts ever since. I haven’t replied, I don’t feel like talking to my friends at the moment.
I approached my girlfriend about this, and I instantly regretted it. She broke down completely, which I’ll admit kinda teared me up. I’ve never seen her panic so much, she was freaking out as if someone died. She kept apologizing, telling me she’s never slept with anyone else while with me & saying she didn’t know about the joke my friends were doing. She told me my friends simply invited her to hang out, and during the hang out they introduced her to me. That’s how it all went, she says she wasn’t aware of a “plan” or anything. “You probably think I’m a slut, right?” Is what she kept saying, which just hurt me to hear. She told me she loved me, that to please just ignore my “friends” to to not break up with her. I just told her I loved her as well, and that what I know doesn’t change my feelings towards her. She still thinks I’m going to break up with her, which I won’t ever do. I just kept her in my arms, that’s all I could do. I didn’t want her panicking, so I just comforted her. I’ve been with this incredible girl for 4 years, created beautiful memories with her & I’m not going to let what my friends have said to me ruin what I have with her.
I’m not mad at my girlfriend, why should I be mad? She didn’t do anything wrong, her past is her past & it’s not of my business. Who she sleeps with is none of my concern, my feelings towards her haven’t changed – I love her with all my heart, i always will. I’m mad at my so-called friends, because one being they’re taking all of this as a joke, speaking of my girlfriend awfully – and the other being that this all started as a little joke between them. They didn’t have good intentions when they introduced me to ashely, they simply “passed her to me” thinking I was going to treat her like a toy or a piece of meat.
I’m just shocked, that’s what I am. This whole thing has been mentally stressing me out, and I wish I didn’t know about it. I love my girlfriend, but I’ll admit the thought of her with my friends hurts me. I’ve cut all contact with my “friends” these past couple of days, I’ve been ignoring their calls and texts – and there’s a ton of them. I just don’t know what to do, I really don’t. Also the thought of my girlfriend immediately sleeping with my friends kinda bugs me, because me and her took it slow. Maybe she did care about me compared to my friends, and didn’t want to hop straight into bed. I also think this because even my friends said she didn’t act “slutty” towards me, that she actually cared about me. You see, these are the stupid thoughts I’m getting in my head & I hate it.
I’m personally still going to propose to my girlfriend, I’m not leaving her. I plan to cut contact with my friends and simply focus on my future. If any of you have any advice to share, I’ll greatly appreciate it. I definitely need to relax my mind, that’s for sure.