[25F] My boyfriend [25M] told me he is jealous of my job and how I spend my money. Can this be worked through?
We started dating in school, and I went straight into industry after graduation. He was always incredibly supportive and proud of how quickly I moved up the ranks, and I recently got a significant promotion. He took me out to dinner to celebrate and all was dandy.
A few friends and I work really hard and felt it was time for a vacation, so we all took a week and had a girls trip. It was honestly the best trip of my life. I excitedly tell my boyfriend all about it, and his response was not what I expected.
He was very quiet and after a pause, told me that he was jealous of my friends and I being so productive and being able to go on trips like these. He’s been focusing entirely on saving money right now and I don’t think he likes how I can feel comfortable spending a few hundred on an annual trip. He brought up the dinner he took me on, and a camping trip we went on and said we can’t do those anymore.
I completely understand and respect how he handles his money and spends his time. It doesn’t matter to me we can’t do dinners and trips together, because I am simply happy with his company. I also understand how, in his position, he would feel jealous. What I am unsure of, is if there is an irreparable incompatibility here.
My focus is my career these next few years, I’m still saving about a third of my paycheck, and I do like to treat myself to a vacation or two a year, keeping it less than $1000 combined, because I can afford it. This trip was a celebration, and it does not feel very good to think you can’t tell your partner about your success and rewards without resentment.
I give him as much emotional support I as can and emphasize that money or job doesn’t matter to me. My friends and family think he’s great and don’t view him any differently. But he’s deeply insecure about this. And I don’t know if it makes me an asshole, because he’s not doing anything wrong, but I don’t know if I can be with someone knowing they can get jealous of my successes, because my career is extremely important to me, and I’m not stopping for anything.
Any advice on how to better support him? Or is this something that tends to not get resolved?